Today was harder for me that last week. I went to the L&D floor in the hospital (which is where I spent yesterday afternoon) instead of the day surgery unit. Fortunately I didn't see anyone in labor, but still, being there was just a little bitter.
It was a little more private and quiet, which was nice. Last week we got to listen to a teenage boy and his anesthesiologist arguing about which form of anesthesia was best.
My right arm is still bruised from last week's IV, so I asked the nurse to put it into my left. She did not do a great job, it was probably the most painful needle stick I've ever had (and I have had a LOT, as has anyone who's gone through IF treatments). And I have *huge* veins, seriously 1/4 inch in diameter if not slightly more. So really, how tough can it be? Anyway, the pain, although it really wasn't that bad, just got to me. I found myself thinking, "I really do not want to be here again". And I just couldn't stop myself from crying. At first it was just a few tears slipping out, and I asked the nurse if she could go and get DH, by the time he came in I was full out bawling. And of course that was right when the nurses were switching over so both of them were in the room too. Very sympathetic, but sometimes you just want to cry in private.
I managed to pull myself together eventually, and then the parade of doctors started. I met interns, more nurses, residents, the anesthesia resident and attending, the OB attending and fellow - Mark was calling it the DisneyWorld approach, where every few minutes they have someone else come in to break the tedium and make you feel like you're getting somewhere, just like the videos and things to look at when you're in line in DW. I thought it was quite an apt comparison!
We did make sure to ask what they were going to do to make absolutely sure they would get everything. They were all quite apologetic that it didn't work the first time, and said they'd be using ultrasound to guide them. Mark did ask about a hysteroscopy as that was what finally got everything cleared out for a friend who also had multiple D&C's, but they said there was too much tissue and would be bleeding so an internal camera wouldn't actually be that helpful. Made sense.
They let me walk back to the OR, although I couldn't get up onto the table until the brought over a stool, it was so high! At that point they started the IV meds, and once again, next thing I knew I was coming back into the room to meet M. Once again, none of the OBs who actually did the procedure stopped by to see me (that annoyed me last time too and I will definitely be speaking to MY OB about it when I see her next), but she did at least stop by and see Mark. She told him they were cleaning me up, and that my uterus was much more upright than normal, which made for quite a difficult procedure, and explained why they didn't get everything the last time. I suppose some explanation is better than none.
I really really really do not want to do this a third time, so I hope that they really did get everything.
3 comments:
Oh wow...I completely understand how overwhelmed you were. One procedure is hard enough on our bodies and minds, two is just too much. It sounds like your husband was there with you every second, and an amazing advocate, so I was happy to read that. I'm praying that this is it for you. Will you have another u/s soon to double check? Rest up today Nico...
I really, really, really hope that they got everything this time, too. I'm glad you got a little explanation for what happened, though that doesn't make it any less sucky.
Thinking about you, Nico. Hope you are doing okay.
Geez! I'm sorry you had to endure that twice. Even once is more than anyone should have to go through. I hope your next beta shows numbers in the range the doctors want to see.
I'm sorry I haven't been following along with what's been going on with you lately. I could swear that the last time I clicked on your name from a comment you left on my blog, I wound up on a password-protected blog, but maybe I'm just imagining it? (Which is entirely possible at this point.)
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