Monday, August 08, 2005


Of the four doctors at the clinic I go to (well, if you include the resident, 'baby doc' it's five), I like Dr. Business the least. He's exactly that - all business. No friendly chit chat, just in and out. Literally and figuratively.

I'm pretty sure, based on the nurse saying after Thursday's scan "Dr. Business will look at your blood results and we'll call you back in the afternoon", that it was he who decided to drop my dosage.

So of course, he was the one doing my IUI yesterday. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. No joking around like with Dr. Handsome the last time, it felt very cold and impersonal. M managed to ask "Is it worth it to do another IUI tomorrow given that we just took the trigger shot last night" as he was on the way out the door - Dr. Business said no, as I had already started to ovulate. And that was that. Away he went. No discussion, no 'if it will make you feel better we can', nothing.

I burst into tears as soon as he left. I had such high hopes for this cycle, it really did seem to be going absolutely perfectly. And then to have him treat me like that, be so absolutely compassionate-less, just put the shit icing on the shit cake.

I know that it's still possible that this worked, but I am not holding my breath.

And I'm definitely going to ask to see my entire record before the next cycle because I want to know exactly what happened with this one, and why they made the decisions they did. One thing that I didn't pay much mind to when it happened was that at two of my ultrasounds, they asked me to confirm the meds I was taking - "Gonal-F, lupron" and one other thing. Both times I said "Um, no, I'm just taking Repronex". They said it was just a computer error. But that makes me wonder now - what exactly were they looking at when they decided to lower my dosage???

(Oh, and BTW - I was playing golf on Saturday when I took the call about my instructions for the night. I was on pace to shoot well under 100, which I have never done before (47 on the front nine). After I got the call I was so pissed off I totally fell apart and ended up shooting a 102. That'll teach me to use my cellphone on the golf course!!!)


thalia said...

I stand by my comments about this specialty being specially attractive to fuckwits. Sorry Dr Business spoilt your day, but really hoping this one is the trick. Will sex tomorrow night help?

Re your records, that would make me v nervous too. These guys really don't think about the individual very often, it seems to me.

Hoping that this works anyway sweetie. Fingers crossed.

Dooneybug said...

Damn Nico, I'm sorry that the experience was so shitty. I hate doctors like that. I once named a doctor Dr. Business because he was exactly the same way.

Even though things were emotionally bad, I hope it all ends in good news.

Molly said...

God damn it. Yes, definitely insist on seeing all of your records. If a computer error led to them dropping your stims, I would insist on a discount on your next cycle (if, of course, this one doesn't work -- and I'm crossing my fingers that it does!)

Emma B. said...

Oh, how frustrating, Nico! It does really sound like this doctor, and this clinic, don't quite have it all together when it comes to handling you. Maybe before your next cycle, you can get them to agree on some firm parameters for dropping/maintaining your dosage?

elle said...

Sorry honey. I know, it's overwhelming. YOu can't blame yourself - it's like learning 4 yrs of med school in a few months. I hope you are able to regain some sense of control for this cycle and not worry yourself sick. Be good to yourself - you did the best you could.

Em said...

Why are people involved in such emotionally charged areas so insensitive? I am sorry about the cycle. By the way, what's happening on the Australia front?