Friday, August 19, 2005

Get back in your hole, bitch!

And Hope was beaten into submission by the stark whiteness that was the space where a second line should be.

I needed to put her back in her place. It hurts less if you don't even let yourself dream.

19 comments:

Caroline said...

Sorry for your disappointment - I hate when I convince myself before a BFN that it will be negative but it still hurts the same everytime - hope just sucks. Hang in there!

Molly said...

Awww, crap. Hope is in critical condition, but still around -- because I'M holding on to her for you.

Suz said...

I'm sorry, but still am holding out hope for you!

Em said...

I am giving up on hope. I want to one of those women who doesn't actually realise they are pregnant until they are in labour ("But I was still getting my period!", "I thought I'd just put on some weight!").

thalia said...

The moment when the doctor said: "You have to see this as a course of treatment, because each individual cycle has a limited chance of success" was the moment when my patience finally gave out. I'm so sorry nico, I wish there was a happier ending here, at least.

Lisa said...

I'm very sorry...

Susan / holdingpattern said...

I'm sorry Nico.

S. said...

Sorry, Nico.

T said...

I'm sorry - I agree completely on the hope issue.

Z said...

i'm so very sorry. and yea i totally agree HOPE can be BITCH sometimes and sometimes i hate it just as much as my bitterness!

Laurie said...

sonofab***h! I am so sorry. :( There are no words for that feeling when you konw it's going to be negative and then it still is, because no matter how much you prepare for it, there's a part of you that's playing mind games with yourself. "If I think it'll be negative, I'll get a nice surprise." Then, even though you theoretically have no hope, you're still surprised to see a negative and you stare and stare and stare, willing that second line to appear ... I am so, so sorry. :(

Dooneybug said...

I'm so sorry Nico. I wish this could be easier for you. Take care.

Ova Girl said...

Very very sorry Nico. It sucks.

k #2 said...

damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.

so sorry

Emma B. said...

Aw, dammit, I'm so sorry, Nico.

MsPrufrock said...

Oh Nico, I'm sorry. The 2ww is a bitch too, and while we're at it, so are IUIs. Bastards, the lot of them.

amyesq said...

Stupid bitch of a no line. I know her very well myself and I will punch her in the face for you. Still... I don't think all is lost yet.

reprogirl said...

Sorry. God, is there anything emptier than that little tiny bit of white real estate?

April said...

So sorry. Thinking of you.