Monday, May 09, 2005

I'm it!

To my complete surprise, I was blog tagged by Molly - (does that make it a blag? a tog?) to write about what else I could see myself doing. I have to pick 5 professions from the list below to imagine myself as, add one of my own, then choose three other bloggers to do the same. My initial response was glee - I've been picked! I'm one of the cool kids! I've never been a cool kid in all my life (the last one to get picked in gym class blah blah blah)... but that's another story. My second response was complete terror. I'm a scientist with no creative bone in my body anywhere. Not even my pinky. I'm not a writer, I don't have the knack that so many bloggers have of taking a fucking awful situation and making other people understand, and even laugh alongside at the small bit of humor that can be found.

So, I guess that's a good place to start - If I could be a writer... I would be able to turn a phrase just so, to elicit exactly the emotion I wanted to - fear, sympathy, joy, heartbreak, childlike glee. I would write novels that wouldn't make the critics sing praise, but would fly off the shelves nonetheless through word of mouth. I'd make people see how much better their lives, other's lives, the world would be if only we could be considerate and thoughtful to each other. And I'd do it by telling an amazing story that no-one who'd read it could ever forget.

On the other hand, being a little more selfish, if I could be a circus performer... I don't know exactly what one calls what I'd do - hanging in the ribbons from the ceiling, incredibly strong and yet graceful at the same time. I'd have a body to die for - not all thin and waifish, but athletic, curvaceous and fabulous. I'd be able to do amazing twirls, spins and holds, all without even breaking a sweat.

I'd also have fun if I could be a spy... I would be so good at deception no-one would ever have an inkling that I wasn't what I said I was. I'd pretend to be something glamorous with lots of travel involved - maybe an art dealer. I'd speak at least 10 different languages fluently, and would be able to kick some serious ass. I'd be curvaceous and fabulous and get people to do exactly what I wanted with just a hint of flirtation. My circus performing abilities would come in handy for climbing up buildings and such to uncover state secrets.

If I could be a chef... I'd be a pastry chef. I would create confections the like of which had never been tasted before. Exactly the right combination of ingredients to engage all five senses in an orgasmic culinary experience. The perfect texture, a surprising sound when bitten into, an enticing smell, a vision on the plate...and a taste that could never be forgotten. I don't know what it would be, but my stomach is growling!

Finally, if I could be a politician... I'd change the world. I'd bring logic, reason, kindness and understanding to the global scene. I'd get rid of fearmongering, hatemongering, and the idea that differences are to be feared. I'd be incredibly charismatic, curvaceous and fabulous. I'd make speeches that would be quoted the world over, and make all the evil people see the error of their ways. There would be no more wars over religious differences, revenge or territorialism. And especially no more pre-emptive strikes. There would be no assumptions about evil intentions to further one person's agenda. The world could focus on eradicating poverty and disease rather than eradicating people.

Who me, an idealist???

Here's the full list:
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an archaeologist...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a servicemember...
If I could be a business owner...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be an agent...
If I could be video game designer...
If I could be photographer...
If I could be a circus performer...
If I could be a spy...
If I could be a fashion designer...
If I could be a high school student again... (Gerah)
If I could be a model... (Molly)
If I could be a politician... (Nico)

And I'm going to tog Lisa, Susan and Ova Girl. Can't wait to see what you gals imagine yourselves doing!

P.S. I can't believe I just spend an hour and half on this. Where does the time go???

2 comments:

Ova Girl said...

Good God that's me!
Alright...thinking thinking...

Molly said...

No kidding, you're an idealist!

All of my answers are like, "Everyone's going to think I'm so fucking cool" and yours are like, "THE WORLD WILL ALL GIVE EACH OTHER HUGS AND SUNSHINE!" I'm such a self-centered ho.

:)