Thursday, August 24, 2006

Random thoughts

M was doing some internet research on what to expect with a c-section, and came across this gem, from WebMD, no less:

"What else do you need to think about before surgery?
Questions to consider include:
Do you need to finish any heavy work, such as laundry, shopping, or cutting wood, before your delivery? You will not be able to do any heavy lifting for 6 to 8 weeks."

Cutting wood? Is that really a common household chore, like laundry and shopping??? It's almost as if this came from a different century!


I'm finding myself less and less sanguine about the idea of having a c-section with every passing day. I wish I didn't have two weeks notice, I feel like it's just given me too much time to think about all the bad things that could happen, how much worse recovery is going to be, all that kind of stuff. I really am excited to meet Phred, but at the moment the excitement is being overwhelmed with dread. Which I don't think is really a good way to be heading into this. It's gotten to the point where thinking about having my baby is bringing me to tears, which in turn makes me feel even worse. Yet another time where I wish life had a fast forward button!

I was just emailing with my sis about this, and I think she had some really good advice. Now I just have to follow it! "Forget about the natural birth. Forget that you are not getting to do this the way you want to, and have expected to. Put aside your previous expectations and come up with a whole new scenario. Plan Phred’s birth, and your birth experience around the knowledge that you are having a C, not that you are not delivering naturally. Get excited about the anticipation of knowing exactly when Phred is coming, and just focus on that moment and on the pure joy you will feel at that second. Your birth experience may not be the one you were looking forward to all these months, but it is going to be your birth experience forever. Make it special and look forward to it. Put everything else behind you and make what is going to happen what you want. You do not want to look back at this day for the rest of your life and wish for something different. Make it a day you can look back at with no regrets."


I spoke with my MIL last night - she mentioned at one point that she purchased two really cute outfits for Phred to wear home from the hospital, one if it's a boy, one if a girl. It actually seemed like a really good opportunity to me to at least begin addressing some of my concerns. So I tried to be very gentle, and said that we really appreciated her doing things like this, and that I totally understand how excited she is about her first grandchild, but that we're excited about our first *child*, and WE want to be able to buy the cute outfits. She actually took it really well, and said that with anything she gets that we don't want for any reason, she's more than happy to return them. She said she would absolutely return these outfits, she just wants me to see them first, because they're so cute. So we'll see if she actually means it. But on the surface at least, I think I got that part of my point across.

Of course, I am a totally unsentimental person, and as I mentioned quite frugal - some might even say "cheap". I don't see the point for us to spend money on a cutesy outfit to come home from the hospital in, when all it's going to be is hospital, car, house (I totally understand that some people DO want a cute outfit, and I think that's totally cool. It's just not for me). A onesie or sleeper seems perfectly adequate to me. Of course, I won't tell HER that!

GandKsmom asked for some belly pics. Here's one of me with the obviously unfinished baby's room. And here are a couple of the belly.


pixi said...

That's funny -- cut wood. As if you would have any inclination to to do that in your 9th month, regardless of how you'd be delivering! I don't think I could get close enough to a piece of wood to cut it at this point.

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time with the idea of a c-section. It's completely understandable. I so wish there were a way for you not to have to do it.

Hoping said...

Oh, Nico you are so pretty. yes, must finish up the cutting of the wood before birth. *hand slaps forehead repeatedly*

MsPrufrock said...

Oddly enough, I was building a log cabin by hand when P decided to show up. I'm impressed Web MD recognises this danger.

The belly pictures are fab! You are a gorgeous, beautiful, glowing pregnant woman. I'm sure you don't feel like it most of the time (I felt like a sweaty beast all of the time), but trust me, you look great!

One Mother's Journey said...

I think your sister is right on the money!!! I know it's easier said than done but I hope you move ahead a little easier now.

God Nico, you look wonderful!!

S. said...

You look great!

I like what your sister had to say. Makes sense. :)

Emma B. said...

You've got a very smart sister there. And you look adorable!

Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Oh my GOD! You are pregnant! And adorable!

That cut wood thing got a great laugh from me this morning.

I think you got some great advice from the sister.

Well-heeled mom said...

What great belly pics!

AnotherAmy said...

Youve got a pretty smart sister. Maybe this is just mother nature helping you practice for all the other sudden changes in plans being a family brings you? You'll do great, youve got a great attitude.

Kath said...

Dear Nico, how shocking that you have not yet heard of that post-C-section hazard called Axe Ache or its more severe sister, Chainsaw Cramps. Almost as frightful as Laundry Overload and Shopper's Dropsy. How very fortunate that you were warned in the nick of time! ;)

Your sister is right.

And her sister is lovely.

fisher queen said...

I could use a sister like yours. Great belly pics!

Leigh said...

You look fabulous! Thanks so much for the pics. Your sister is a wise woman. Just focus on the goal here -- your healthy baby entering the world. That being said I completely understand your feeling the way you do.

I hear that wood chopping is a good way to take your mind off frustration . . . :)

Thalia said...

Gorgeous pics, you look wonderful - I think the little bit of extra weight on your face really suits you (I'm sure you don't think so!). I think your sister is 100% right, I hope you can feel the same way when the 2ww is over and Phred is here.

Liz said...

Love the look great! I know how disappointing it is to learn that the birth won't be what you had expected/hoped for but your sister is right. Cherish the birth that you will have and make it a joyful one.

fitgrl said...

Your wood cutting warning made me howl - thanks as I needed that today!

Your sis is a wise woman and sounds like a great sister Nic! You will be holding that precious little babe in your arms in no time and will have forgotten all about the way that he or she arrived. You are UBER fit and will be back at it in no time...even wood chopping :)

Your pics are amaazing - you look so beautiful and you are glowing!

I am wishing you all the best and can't wait to hear the news!!!!!!!!!!

Gandksmom said...

OK..first of all you looked nothing like I thought you would. Never mind that you are the most beautiful pregnant woman on the face of the earth! I don't think I have seen a more beautiful belly! Thank you for indulging me/us!

And I promise you, that once your beautiful baby is here, you won't care how he/she gets here. Just that he/she is here.

Ova Girl said...

your sister is very wise nico. focusing on phred as opposed to the means of arrival is probably best. good luck! and ...i was the same as you re the going home outfit. i was just glad to be going home.

pixi said...

Tomorrow, baby!! You are going to meet Phred tomorrow!

I will be thinking about you all day.

lagiulia said...

This is my first time at your blog, so let me wish you a combined cogratulations and good luck! My twins are 9 mo. old, and I had to have a c-sec. I found out a week or two before I went into labor that I'd probably have to have one, and I was very sad about it. I even made them check via ultrasound at the hospital to make sure the babies' positions still warranted it before we did it! BUT. Let me just say that the c-sec was pretty easy, no complications at all. It was so quick. And though I was sore for a few weeks, I was up and about within a few days. It is natural and totally okay to be scared, but just know that everyone has a different story about her c-sec, and for some of us they are simple. I don't think I could've had a quicker recovery even from a traditional birth, which turned out to be important for me since my babies were premies, and I needed to be well enough to get to the hospital to see them everyday. Oh, and also, breastfeeding was no problem either; my milk came in within a day or two. I'll be thinking of you!

pennilish said...

Great advice on your sisters part! Once Phred (great name!) comes, you won't care HOW he got here, just that he is here and healthy and perfect! All the best!

soralis said...

You sister gives great advice!!!

Hope your hubby doesn't mind cutting wood for you! :)

Thanks for sharing the photos you look great!

Take care