Two down, 10 to go...

Second injection, same as the first. Except I almost fainted. Not so good. I think my first problem was that I pushed the needle in really slowly, not with a nice quick jab. Then I started pushing the plunger, and it was almost as if the blood was draining from my head at the same rate I was pushing the liquid in to me. I closed my eyes halfway through to collect myself, and spoke to myself very firmly "just get the damn stuff in, *then* you can faint!". I managed to complete the injection, then wobbled over to the couch and lay there for a minute until I could see straight again.

I think tonight I'll try it sitting down.

woo-hoo!

Had my CD3 ultrasound this morning (following a two hour crying jag on Sunday when I was convinced that my body had been completely fucked up by the fat pills and I wasn't going to get my period after all that, just a lovely brown shmutz). $333 for two minutes with the magic wand. Seems like a waste to me. I keep trying to tell these doctors - everything.looks.the.same. Uterine lining at 3.6mm... same as every other time.

Anyway, got the go ahead to start my Repro injections, so I did the first one tonight. It wasn't too bad, the hardest part was actually pushing the liquid in, I started shaking a bit with that. Not enough to do any damage, fortunately.

So we're on our way. Think good egg thoughts for me, will ya?

Almost there...

I heard from the insurance company yesterday that there's no 30 day wait, I'm covered right away. Which is early next week, but will back date to this week. How often does one actually get *good* news from an insurance company? Not very!

:-D

So, I finish the fat pills on Thursday, then go for my CD3 ultrasound and start injections early next week.

I'm so excited to actually, finally get to "try"! I know that it's only a first step and that there are still all kinds of questions (how will my ovaries respond to the drugs - what if they don't make any follicles? too many? what if the cup gets missed again?)... but I'm really looking forward to the possibility of pregnancy, which I haven't had to this point.

Perspective

Every now and again something really earthshattering happens, and reminds you that what you're going through could be so much worse.

My boss's wife gave birth yesterday to a healthy boy. BUT, she was in labor for over 40 hours, and finally had an emergency C-section. They also had to remove her uterus.

She had wanted to have a bunch of kids, this was supposed to be just the beginning. That dream is obviously shot to hell.

And I complain that I'm putting on weight from my pills? Puh-leeze.

It's not as simple as 'ready, aim, fire...'

This is going to sound really stupid... One of the things I'm worried about for the IUI is that neither of the two times M has had an SA done has he been able to get much in the stupid cup. Any tips? The first time he did it by himself, the second I went in to 'help' - it was really hard!

I'm a giggler. I actually couldn't stop giggling at our wedding - the part where the priest said "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband"... I couldn't stop laughing. The idea of *me*, with a husband! It took me a couple of minutes to control myself. I was having trouble controlling my giggles in 'the room' too. It was just so bizarre - the sterility of the setting combined with the porn, and then what you're supposed to do. *snort*.

Anyway, the other thing I've been wondering is that if you look at the instructions for the 'donation', they often say that you can use a non-lubricated condom instead. But Conveyor seemed to think that was a bad idea. Have you done that successfully?

Update

So I haven't updated in a while on what I've decided to do. Unfortunately, I wasn't a candidate for the clinical trial of the pulsatile GnRH (on two counts - male factor and I don't bleed on Provera). So, ahead with Conveyor it is.

At the moment I'm back on the pill, with plans to do shots of Repronex once I go off and CB shows her evil face. Going with a really low dose (the vials are 75IU, I've been told to start with 50IU, as we basically have no clue how my body will actually respond to some kind of female hormones.) If there's anyone else out there with the same condition (HA) that's gone through this, I'd love to hear from you... what kind of hormone dose was needed for you? How did you feel? I just really have no idea what to expect. I don't want to pay for all this and then not even make it to the insemination part!

I think I mentioned a while ago that I had been a complete dimwit as far as insurance goes. I work for a company in MA which offers insurance with coverage for infertility treatment. But, not realizing in Nov of last year when we had to decide about insurance that we would need the infertility treatments, we had decided to go with M's insurance, out of CA, that does not offer coverage. Regretting that now, for sure! So for the moment, I found another insurance company where we can get additional insurance to cover the infertility.

It'll cost the same for the first month (because of an $1K deductible), but only half as much in following months. So we decided to go ahead with it - if I *happen* to get pregnant the first time (I know, I know, wishful thinking!) then we're not out any more than we would have been without the insurance. If it doesn't work, then we're saving ~$1K per cycle.

Only issue is that I may have to put off starting the hormone for an extra three weeks - there may be a 30 day waiting period for the new insurance to kick in. I hate waiting, but I think I can manage a few more weeks... Although I'm still feeling completely bloated and yucky from this new pill. I actually had to go out and buy some new pants! Got them from Old Navy for only $6.67/pair though, that was a nice find. I took them up to the register thinking they would be $20 each, but they rang up for the $6.67. Sweet!

please, tell me it's the hormones!

I got sent to Amsterdam for work - to a conference, to give a talk in place of my boss. His wife is due at the end of April... he thought he'd be okay, but she has mild hypertension so they might have to induce her sooner than that. So here I am.

Took the red-eye last night, landed in Amsterdam at 7 this morning. Despite a Xanax for the ride, I couldn't get any sleep (there was one little girl, about three, who talked / laughed the ENTIRE night. Her mother didn't say a single word. I wanted to turn around and let her know how pleased I was that her daughter was enjoying herself, but could she at least *try* to keep her quiet so that the other hundred people on the plane could get some sleep? Why is it that people are so inconsiderate?).

Anyway, got to the hotel, took a nap, showered and got ready for the conference. I was giving a talk, so I brought some nice pants and a button down shirt. When I tried to put them on - HOLY SHIT! They didn't fit. I don't mean they were tight, they didn't fit! I had to wear my pants unbuttoned all day, and a sweater instead of the shirt I was going to wear.

I was completely flipping out, until I remembered that I had started taking the pill last Friday night (trial for pulsatile GnRH didn't work out - must have normal male). I've *never* gained weight on the pill before, but this is a different formulation that what I've taken. So I'm hoping (praying) that that's what it is. But the kicker of it all? The only place I haven't gained anything is in my boobs -the one place where I could actually stand to add a bit! Isn't life a bitch!

I actually noticed it on Saturday night, when I went to put on some pants I've had for ages that have always fitted me perfectly - even those were a bit tight... enough that I actually took them off and changed into something else instead. Is it possible that the hormones could affect my weight *that* quickly?

Gah. The hormone ride over the next couple of months in going to be very interesting indeed. I've been reading TCOYF recently, and I don't think I've ever ovulated. EWCM? I really don't think I've ever experienced that. Gah.

Home video tip...

When I was a kid, my grandfather used to take 8mm movies of us every now and again. I remember watching them from time to time growing up... but no-one had seen them for years and years. I finally found them, in a closet, when we were in SA for our vacation.

I borrowed a movie projector from my in-laws, and sat down with great excitement to watch them. Not to see myself, but to see my father and grandfather, both of whom passed away ~10 years ago. Unfortunately, almost all of the movies were of the kids - my sister, cousins and me. There a fair number of shots of parent's / grandparent's legs, but full shots are few and far between.

I would really have loved to see a bit more of my dad and grandpa. So when we have a kid (okay, if), I'm going to make sure that we take videos of them, sure - but also of us and my mom, so that when the kid(s) grow up and want to see what we were like at their age, they'll be able to. Videos are so much nicer than photos.