Today is 3dp5dt (3 days past 5 day transfer for those not versed in IVF lingo). I feel nothing. I was hoping that I might feel a bit crampy, or SOMETHING people, but nope.
Backing up a few days, starting Sunday night I found I was feeling the most nervous I think I have ever been for anything. which is weird, right? I think there was a butterfly mosh pit or something going on in there. Not because of the transfer procedure; that's fairly straightforward, I think just not knowing how many embryos were still growing, and of course, the eventual outcome.
Monday morning, more of the same. I could barely eat, which trust me, NEVER happens. I managed to force down some cereal as the only thing that seemed remotely appetizing. I had had doubts, when I read through my med protocol, about the vali.um they had prescribed to be taken an hour and again 15 min before transfer - by Monday morning I was counting down the minutes until I could pop one of those suckers!
When I finally did, it really did help, I felt much more zen within 15 min or so which was great. Took the second when we arrived at the clinic, as instructed. Had full bladder as instructed.
Commented to the nurse after they had me change into the hospital gowns in a ROOM WITH A TOILET that that was really mean! ;)
So we both got gowned up, then headed in to the transfer. They told us that of our seven embryos, one was a good looking blast (no score, but the pic looks to me like a 4AB from the advanced fertility website), and the other was not so hot (maybe a 2BB?), probably wouldn't make it to freeze, so they were recommending we transfer both.
I had prepped DH with my arguments against transferring two, in case the V made me so loopy I was unable to marshall them myself, but I was fully capable when it came down to it. A) we don't want twins. B) I have three natural pg under my belt (would that be a chastity belt?) C) This is our first IVF cycle, D) would rather not be pregnant than have twins. They did try and push us a bit further, by showing us a document they had typed up with their recommendations on eSET (only for women under 35 with at least one freezable blast in addition), which isn't really much of an argument, we stayed firm, and they relented. Perhaps if we get further down this road we will change our mind, but not now.
The transfer was u/s guided, and they used some weird-assed stirrups that held my whole legs up, and also tilted the table backwards so I felt like I was at maybe a 30 degree angle. I guess that helps with getting the catheter into the cervix? I tried as best I could to just relax, but I found myself tensing my legs as if to hold them up myself. It was definitely odd. Basically all I could think about though was how my bladder felt like it was going to explode every time the doc pressed on the ultrasound thingy. A friend who experienced this the week before did not have val.ium, and said that she felt horribly embarrassed basically having her entire ass hanging out in front of the doc. I guess another + for drugs! They did it first with just the catheter, then got the embryo, claimed they could see a little flash on the u/s as it was deposited (I could see where the catheter was but did not see the "flash"), checked that the catheter was empty, and then we were done.
Stayed at the clinic for another 15 min or so in quite a comfortable chair/bed (ched?), then got up, PEED!, and went home. NOW I was feeling loopy, and when we got into the car to drive home, asked DH if we had paid for the parking. He assured me that we had, but I could find no recollection of it anywhere.
Almost as soon as we got home I headed to bed, NOT feeling like myself, and slept for the next FOUR hours. I would have slept longer, too, except that the phone rang and woke me up.
Still didn't feel like myself, could barely eat dinner (again, NOT normal), so went back to bed again until about 10pm (not sleeping this time, just didn't feel like doing anything). At that point I finally did feel back to myself except FREEZING. Put on a sweater then within a few minutes I was drenched in sweat. Temp was 99.8. Ugh. I was then imagining that the fact that I had mistakenly skipped on of my doxycyline doses meant I had a raging uterine infection that was going to ruin this whole thing, so I actually called the clinic. Doc I spoke to was really nice, said they don't worry unless fever is >100.4, take some Tylenol (which I already had) and for sure come in the next day if my fever went any higher. Fortunately, next morning I felt my usual chipper self, so that crisis was averted.
So now I'm PUPO, but as I said not feeling terribly hopeful as I'm feeling nothing (aside from an inordinate number of hiccups** yesterday, but that was isolated). I don't even feel any of the normal PIO symptoms, just feel pretty much normal.
Found out today that the other embyro did not make it to freeze. In a way, the fact that only potentially one of our seven embryos made it past day 5 almost makes me feel better about our chances - we have NOT been making good embryos all along, so maybe, hopefully, my uterus is just fine?
*Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise; Anyone know who coined the term? was it Julie / A little pregnant?
** I have hiccupped every day for the past 23 years. At first it was on the order of 100's of times a day, it's dwindled down to about a dozen and I barely notice them anymore. Except yesterday when I probably hiccupped around 100 times. (Guinness record is 63 years so I hope not to make that!)