Getting the doctor party started

[Copied from my first blog, A Nickel For My Thoughts]

*sigh* still no time (or is it motivation?) to write about my deep thoughts from Angels in America and 'the Bell Curve'. Still thinking about it...

In the meantime, exercise...

Weds 11/17 (I was bad!) pickup hockey 6:45-7:45am, hockey practice 8-9
Thurs 11/18 Off day
Fri 11/19 weight lifting
Sat 11/20 Hockey practice 5-7
Sun 11/21 Hockey game, 3:15-4:45. Hurt my shoulder, so didn't go to vball practice
Mon 11/22 Vball league playoff game 7:15-8. We lost. So got to go home early. I was glad because I didn't want to injure my shoulder, but at the same time I ate a ton of mini chocolate bars at work (600 cal worth!) so I kinda wanted a bit of exercise to work that off. Better to rest my shoulder.
Tues 11/23 Hockey pickup 6:45-7:45.

Went to see the doc about my lack of periods on Friday. She's doing some tests for hormone levels. We'll see. I'm also having an ultrasound because my uterus is 'a bit far on the right hand side'. Whatever that means. M- always teases me about being crooked (one of my ears is quite a bit higher than the other one, so my glasses have to be bent so they look straight on my face), I guess I'm more crooked than I thought! That's tomorrow afternoon...

Exercise log

So, I've been watching Angels in America over the last couple of days, and it's really made me think... stuff I want to write about. But I'm tired, and I managed to sign myself up for early morning hockey again tomorrow morning, so I'm going to have to save that for another entry.

So, I did end up going to lift on Friday 11/12. yay me :-)

Sat 11/13 hockey practice 5-7
Sun 11/14 hockey game 1-2:30, volleyball practice 6:45-9:30
Mon 11/15 wanted to lift, but couldn't get my butt out of bed, so off day...
Tues 11/16 hockey 6:45-7:45am, lifting 8-9

N.

Frustration

[Copied from my first blog, A Nickel for My Thoughts]

I had a really crappy day at work today. Three months (just about) into my new job, I suppose it's about time. Spent all day in completely useless meetings. Four hours of presentations by an outside vendor that I had already seen. Grrr... I don't mind being stuck in meeting so much when I feel like I'm learning something, but to waste my time like that? It really pisses me off. So I ended up leaving work early (yeah, at 5:20 - not really so early!) 'cause although I had a ton of stuff to do today I was just sitting there being pissed (after I got back from the meeting at 5pm) so I decided to come home and do fun things instead.

I'm a pissy driver when I'm frustrated. Not good. People who feel the need to come to a complete stop before making a right turn? Idiots! People who can't stay in their own lane? Morons. Those who drive below the speed limit up to a traffic light that's green, only to have it turn red before I get there (of course, THEY make it through!!!). Imbeciles! Usually I can take these things in stride, but when I'm already in a bad mood, forget it. So much worse. So I get home in a pissier mood than I was when I left. Tonight I could feel it happening and tried my best NOT to choose to be pissy... worked a bit. Not completely though.

I think I'm also getting a cold, which sucks.

And I've been eating GARBAGE over the past week or so. I decided that perhaps I'm not getting my period because I undereat / overexercise, so I thought I'd try not being quite as concerned about the calories I'm eating. Of course that translated almost immediately into buying chocolate and candy. And proceeding to eat it in vast quantities. I really don't know why - yes, it tastes good at the time, but afterwards - who even remembers? Except the scale, of course. ha. I have to get back to writing everything down. Not for losing weight, but just so I'm not eating all this crap.

I'm sad today. I don't know why. Maybe tired.

Weds 11/10 - walked 2 miles, hockey 11-12.
Thurs 11/11 - nothing!
Fri 11/12 - planning on lifting in the morning.
(I need to write this down beforehand so that when I get up tomorrow morning I don't tell myself I don't have to go. I started lifting two years ago, and I've been SO good about it, going almost religiously 2 times a week, up until this new job. Where I can no longer wander in at 10am. So now I have to drag myself out of bed at 6:30 to go and lift, and it's somehow much easier to talk myself out of it at that time rather than at 7:15.)

Anyway, enough rambling. TTFN.

Overexercise?

[Copied from my first blog, A Nickel for My Thoughts]

So I'm thinking about starting a family, have been off the pill since July without getting my period. Funny how things like that happen - we spend so much of our young lives trying not to get pregnant, and then when you want to, you find out all the precautions were for nothing. ha. joke's on you!

Anyway, I've been wondering if I'm not getting my period 'cause I'm exercising too much. I keep telling myself that I'm not, but I get talked into things / sign up for things because they sound like they'll be fun... and next thing I know, I'm overdoing it! So I'm going to try keeping track of what I'm really doing, so I can figure out how to control myself.

The whole journaling thing really helped me lose weight back in May - perhaps being more concious of the exercise I'm doing will help me to cut down on that as well. If I really find that I need to. We'll see what the doc says in a week or so....

Last week's exercise:

Saturday 10/30 - volleyball tournament all day (9-6)
Sunday 10/31 - hockey game 4:50-6:00
Monday 11/1 - weight lifting, volleyball 7-8:45
Tuesday 11/2 - off day (skipped hockey pickup)
Wednesday 11/3 - hockey practice 8-9am, 7-8:45pm
Thursday 11/4 - off day?
Friday 11/5 - hockey game 7:30-9:00
Sat 11/6 - hockey game, 5-6:30
Sun 11/7 - hockey practice 1-2:45, volleyball practice 7:30-10
Mon 11/8 - volleyball league 8:45-10:15
Tues 11/9 - hockey pickup 6:45-7:40, hockey game 7:30-8:45

Any thoughts?

Descending into Eating Disorders

[Copied from my first blog, A Nickel for My Thoughts]

I understand now how easy it is to fall unsuspectingly into an eating disorder. So I mentioned that I lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks? It was so easy for me. I simply cut my calories down to 1500 a day, and what with all the exercising I do, the weight just dropped off. So now I fit into clothes I wore in college again, and in fact weigh less than I have since I started college. But yet I still manage to look at myself and think that I need to lose more weight. I look down at my thighs and see these big fat sausages. I want more definition in my arms, I want a six-pack... I've stopped counting what I'm eating on the weekends though because I really don't think it's healthy for me to lose more weight, but it's so hard to actually look at myself and be satisified with what I see. Why is it that I can be so happy with everything else in my life - my wonderful husband, great job, incredible family - and yet I still feel like I need to be thinner?

Queen of Procrastination

[Copied from my first blog, A Nickel for my Thoughts]

This is my first blog entry, after having read others for a few months. I've mostly been reading weight loss / fitness blogs, starting with Alicia's which I got into after dropping 12 pounds in two weeks and starting to feel some of the symptoms of semi-starvation (insomnia being the major one for me). This is probably going to end up being more rambles (hence the blog title) than anything else although my major hobbies right now are all fitness related so I'll talk a lot about that.

A little about me: My name is Nico, I just finished my PhD in biology and started a totally kick-ass job at a biotechnology company. I absolutely love my job. Of course, if you don't love your job after 6 days, you might have a problem! Anyway, as far as fitness goes, I play ice hockey, volleyball, golf, bike and lift weights. At the moment I really *should* be working on revising my thesis, which is due on September 7th, but am I? NO! I don't want to!!!! So instead I'm writing emails, and starting on a blog. So to the voices in my head telling me that the revisions will be much less painful if I don't leave them until the last minute, I say "ha! I can outlast you for at least a few more days!".

Why is it that the hardest part of any project is getting started? Why is it that I *know* that, and yet still can't convince myself to do it? I had the same problem actually writing the damn thesis, although it wasn't quite this bad. It's funny - I have so much willpower that I can apply to what I eat and to exercising, (perhaps because I enjoy the feelings of control I get from that), and yet none to apply to this task. Maybe we each have a finite supply of willpower - if you apply it in one area of your life, that leaves other areas lacking. Food for thought.

Anyway (one of my favorite words, as you'll quickly see), if I'm not going to work on my thesis I should at least go to bed. TTFN.