I've been feeling really sad and lonely these past few days. I have a fair number of "friends" IRL, but I feel like I'm the only one who tries in our relationships, most of them never call unless it in response to a message I've left, and it really makes me wonder if there's something about me that turns people off. I have such a hard time making friends because I'm naturally an introvert and mostly don't even strike up conversation with anyone even if I think I might like to, so I only have a few friends that I've collected at each stage of my life. And everyone just seems so wrapped up in their own lives right now - I know I am, but I still make time to call people, especially when I know there's something going on with them.
A few of my friends called post D&C, but nothing for a few weeks now. I just found out that Schweffel was in fact Schweffelette, a chromosomally normal female. I knew that was a possibility, the normal part, but it leaves so many more question marks than if the result was some kind of abnormality. I doubt it was the fact that I wasn't taking progesterone as that's right around the time the placental progesterone is supposed to take over, but it's definitely a what if. (That I'm going to avoid in the future by taking progesterone for sure. I honestly didn't think I'd get pregnant with a barely 10-day LP without it.)
Getting back to the friends thing, I've even tried to perhaps make some new friends by inviting some of Antony's classmates/parents over for playdates - the other mothers haven't even reciprocated the invitation, let alone become friends. Like I said, I really wonder what it is that I'm doing wrong.
Have you made any good (girl)friends in your adult life? How did you meet them? How did you end up being friends instead of just acquaintances?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
ha ha ha. Implantation spotting.
Yeah, not so much. CB is here in full force today. At least it's a 7-day LP instead of 6, that makes me feel better somehow.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
And the Crimson Bitch rides???
My temps have been a little wonky since the day I may have O'ed. I was all stoked the first two days after, as my temps were nice and high, 97.9 and 98. Third day, though, back down to the basement at 97.4. Gah. So no confirmation of anything from FF. Which of course is the only thing that makes an ovulation real, right?
I plugged in some fake temps, and if I got two MORE days of high temps, after the first FF would give me a "you may have O'ed sometime between CD27 and 32", and confirm it at CD28 if I got a second one.
I often do that and almost always seem to get something different in reality. My temps do like to mess with me! This time, though, I did actually get another 98, and then 97.9, so that counted, yay! It's nice to know that at least I know my body after all this.
Friday night I spent lying in bed thinking about how nice it would be to have a progesterone pee stick to confirm ovulation, instead of all this temping bizness. Why has no-one invented one? I figure it would have a reasonable market, at least among IF patients? I spent much time thinking about what I'd need to research (number one being is progesterone detectable in urine (answer - yes)!), how I could find lab space if it was something I wanted to move forward with, that kind of thing. What do you think, would you have / would you be interested in purchasing something like that?
Saturday my temp was down a bit to 97.7, then today 97.5, and spotting started this morning. I thought it would have turned into CB by now, but still just spotting. Brownish mucousy gunk, lovely! At the first spot of pink on the tp, I thought, "implantation spotting"? Although I've never had that before so it's unlikely. But the rest of the gunk really does seem to herald CB. If she holds off until tomorrow at least that would be a 7-day LP instead of just 6. I was so hoping that as my LP was pretty consistently 10 days before my loss it would be so again, but, sigh, not to be.
I'm definitely using progesterone next cycle, I'm tired of all the what-ifs.
I plugged in some fake temps, and if I got two MORE days of high temps, after the first FF would give me a "you may have O'ed sometime between CD27 and 32", and confirm it at CD28 if I got a second one.
I often do that and almost always seem to get something different in reality. My temps do like to mess with me! This time, though, I did actually get another 98, and then 97.9, so that counted, yay! It's nice to know that at least I know my body after all this.
Friday night I spent lying in bed thinking about how nice it would be to have a progesterone pee stick to confirm ovulation, instead of all this temping bizness. Why has no-one invented one? I figure it would have a reasonable market, at least among IF patients? I spent much time thinking about what I'd need to research (number one being is progesterone detectable in urine (answer - yes)!), how I could find lab space if it was something I wanted to move forward with, that kind of thing. What do you think, would you have / would you be interested in purchasing something like that?
Saturday my temp was down a bit to 97.7, then today 97.5, and spotting started this morning. I thought it would have turned into CB by now, but still just spotting. Brownish mucousy gunk, lovely! At the first spot of pink on the tp, I thought, "implantation spotting"? Although I've never had that before so it's unlikely. But the rest of the gunk really does seem to herald CB. If she holds off until tomorrow at least that would be a 7-day LP instead of just 6. I was so hoping that as my LP was pretty consistently 10 days before my loss it would be so again, but, sigh, not to be.
I'm definitely using progesterone next cycle, I'm tired of all the what-ifs.
Monday, July 12, 2010
I MUST be imagining things.
I noticed a very small amount of EWCM last Wednesday, but just chalked it up to random post-D&C spewage. But I figured now that I had really stopped bleeding I might as well start temping and paying attention to things again, given I had the green light to start trying again. So I took my temp the next morning. Started checking my cervical position on Saturday, low, as I had expected.
BUT, yesterday I had a ton of EWCM, and my CP last night was way high. And then my temp was up to 97.9 this morning, which is well in the range of my usual post-O temps.
I'll have to temp for a few more days to confirm anything, and I'm trying very very hard not to get in the least bit hopeful (this is much quicker than my usual O's, normally I get 3-4 days of consistent EWCM, for one thing), and bms was not very well timed if in fact I did O, plus I'm expecting to be back to short LPs...
But if I did in fact O, HOLY SHIT!! I was so not expecting this for at least another few weeks given that I usually don't O until the CD20's.
So I think this must all just be wishful thinking!
BUT, yesterday I had a ton of EWCM, and my CP last night was way high. And then my temp was up to 97.9 this morning, which is well in the range of my usual post-O temps.
I'll have to temp for a few more days to confirm anything, and I'm trying very very hard not to get in the least bit hopeful (this is much quicker than my usual O's, normally I get 3-4 days of consistent EWCM, for one thing), and bms was not very well timed if in fact I did O, plus I'm expecting to be back to short LPs...
But if I did in fact O, HOLY SHIT!! I was so not expecting this for at least another few weeks given that I usually don't O until the CD20's.
So I think this must all just be wishful thinking!
Friday, July 09, 2010
More update
I had my followup apt yesterday, it was all of about 10 minutes, all we did was chat. Doc asked if my bleeding had stopped, which it had as of the day before. All of a sudden, gone.
She apologized again that I had to come in for a second D&C, which was a nice segue into the comments I wanted to make. I mentioned that I A) didn't understand why they didn't use u/s the first time - her answer was that there isn't one available on the day surgery floor vs. the second time I had it done in the L&D OR, B) why none of the OBs stopped by to see me after either procedure. The second was particularly galling, as umpteen hundred people introduced themselves to me beforehand, anesthesiologists (who did stop by), interns, fellows, residents, attending... not ONE of them came to see me afterwards.
She said she'd take that feedback to them, as well as for herself, which is all I could really ask for.
I also asked if there was any medical reason not to ttc right away, and she very honestly said, "no". She said it's basically so they have an easier time dating the pg. She said that she wouldn't necessarily recommend TI, but also wouldn't tell us to use any kind of protection. So it was nice to have my Pubmed research backed up.
Genetic testing results will probably take another 2 weeks or so, as they actually have to grow the cells from the fetus. I had thought they could just extract the DNA, but apparently they don't get enough that way so they have to culture the cells first. She sounded a little iffy about whether that could happen or not, probably because it was so long between Schweffels' demise and when they got the tissue out is my guess.
Oh, and I chickened out on asking for a beta. My pg test this morning was totally negative (yesterday was a shadow of a line, it's been getting lighter every day which I think is a good thing), so it's probably < 10 at this point.
Finally, doc asked if I'd like to come in for an early scan 'next time'. I actually declined - given that Schweffel was measuring 8w6d when I was 9w3d I believe his heart had only stopped recently - so I don't see that an early scan would give me any peace of mind at all, and I think would make another loss that much harder to bear, having seen earlier that everything was okay.
She apologized again that I had to come in for a second D&C, which was a nice segue into the comments I wanted to make. I mentioned that I A) didn't understand why they didn't use u/s the first time - her answer was that there isn't one available on the day surgery floor vs. the second time I had it done in the L&D OR, B) why none of the OBs stopped by to see me after either procedure. The second was particularly galling, as umpteen hundred people introduced themselves to me beforehand, anesthesiologists (who did stop by), interns, fellows, residents, attending... not ONE of them came to see me afterwards.
She said she'd take that feedback to them, as well as for herself, which is all I could really ask for.
I also asked if there was any medical reason not to ttc right away, and she very honestly said, "no". She said it's basically so they have an easier time dating the pg. She said that she wouldn't necessarily recommend TI, but also wouldn't tell us to use any kind of protection. So it was nice to have my Pubmed research backed up.
Genetic testing results will probably take another 2 weeks or so, as they actually have to grow the cells from the fetus. I had thought they could just extract the DNA, but apparently they don't get enough that way so they have to culture the cells first. She sounded a little iffy about whether that could happen or not, probably because it was so long between Schweffels' demise and when they got the tissue out is my guess.
Oh, and I chickened out on asking for a beta. My pg test this morning was totally negative (yesterday was a shadow of a line, it's been getting lighter every day which I think is a good thing), so it's probably < 10 at this point.
Finally, doc asked if I'd like to come in for an early scan 'next time'. I actually declined - given that Schweffel was measuring 8w6d when I was 9w3d I believe his heart had only stopped recently - so I don't see that an early scan would give me any peace of mind at all, and I think would make another loss that much harder to bear, having seen earlier that everything was okay.
Monday, July 05, 2010
13 weeks.
I would have been 13 weeks tomorrow. Which means that everyone who is due around when I was is now announcing their pregnancies. I absolutely do not begrudge a single one of them. But I'm finding it a lot harder than I thought I would to say "congratulations". I want to say that I was supposed to have a baby then too. But then I don't know if that's raining on their parade and I should just say congrats and be done with it.
In many ways I'm sadder now than I was when we first found out. Then we had to deal with the logistics. Now I'm just waiting. And thinking.
In many ways I'm sadder now than I was when we first found out. Then we had to deal with the logistics. Now I'm just waiting. And thinking.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Update (too tired to think of anything better)
My internet cheapies finally arrived, of course I couldn't WAIT to marry stick with pee. I don't know why I was so excited, really no result is a good one. But nonetheless, I hopped up on that cup as soon as I could manage. I was surprised that I didn't see a hint of a second line as the stick got wet, so I left it for a couple of minutes while I dealt with dinner. Came back and there was the faintest of faint second lines, definitely of the million suns variety. So my beta is probably in the neighborhood of 20-ish, as that's the sensitivity of the test. so that's not too bad. I'll be interested to see how long it takes to become undetecable. I'll probably test every day since I now have 25 tests, and who doesn't like a good morning pee-on-a-stick?
In other news, as my hormones have normalized, my tummy has gone down a bit, and I've lost most of the weight I had gained, so I'm feeling much better about myself. Still have the zits, but that's an ongoing problem (which it turns out maybe be caused by all the skim milk I drink). So all in all feeling a little better.
One thing that has really been bugging me is in regards to a woman who I had thought of as a friend. She is DH's best friend's wife. DH told his friend both about the pregnancy and when we lost Schweffel. I was a bit sad when she didn't call me at the good news, but whatever. But when she didn't call after the bad, I realized that in fact she is not my friend after all. Which sucks. I saw her today at an Eclipse trip organized by another mutual friend. She did apologize for not calling, but said, "I meant to call. But life got in the way". Seriously???? You couldn't fucking find five minutes to pick up the phone and see how I was doing? Never mind that when she was going through IF, and had an early m/c I was calling her ALL the time. With TWO kids AND working part time, where she's a SAHM with ONE. Give me a fucking break.
In other news, as my hormones have normalized, my tummy has gone down a bit, and I've lost most of the weight I had gained, so I'm feeling much better about myself. Still have the zits, but that's an ongoing problem (which it turns out maybe be caused by all the skim milk I drink). So all in all feeling a little better.
One thing that has really been bugging me is in regards to a woman who I had thought of as a friend. She is DH's best friend's wife. DH told his friend both about the pregnancy and when we lost Schweffel. I was a bit sad when she didn't call me at the good news, but whatever. But when she didn't call after the bad, I realized that in fact she is not my friend after all. Which sucks. I saw her today at an Eclipse trip organized by another mutual friend. She did apologize for not calling, but said, "I meant to call. But life got in the way". Seriously???? You couldn't fucking find five minutes to pick up the phone and see how I was doing? Never mind that when she was going through IF, and had an early m/c I was calling her ALL the time. With TWO kids AND working part time, where she's a SAHM with ONE. Give me a fucking break.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
can I get some cheese with that whine?
I got a call from my doc on Thursday, saying that the pathology report was back and this time they did find fetal tissue. So that at least is good (seems like genetic analysis will happen after all). And I had a little bleeding on Monday but not much, but it picked up again on Wednesday and seemed kinda like period bleeding, so I'm thinking that's a good sign too. She said based on that, no more betas... but I ordered some internet cheapies so that I can see if in fact it does get back to undetectable at some point. Theoretically a dose of 10,000 units of hcg is out of your system in 7-10 days, so I'm thinking that my beta should be undectable probably in around 11-12, although it does seem that there are some tissue reserves that are left behind so that it can take a bit longer.
Emotionally I'm doing alright. despite the fact that I feel okay most of the time, I have a really hard time telling anyone who doesn't know already. And I also am feeling really crappy in general because I totally still look like I'm pg (I have an abdominal muscle separation from Ant and Timmy, so I pop really early) - I have never had a small waist, but it already had gone from 29.5 to 32 inches... and so now none of my clothes fit and I just feel gross. It's very different when you can rationalize it because you have a baby in there versus just looking fat. And I know that probably no-one notices but me (although I few coworkers I told about my loss told me they were beginning to wonder, so it's really not just me but I try and make myself feel better by telling myself that it is). And on top of that my skin is being really crappy now, so in general I'm just feeling really really unattractive, again not that anyone really cares, but it's just one more thing to add to the pile of crap, you know? It sucks. Also because not only had I already gained a couple of pounds while pg, but a few more since that (I am not one to quit eating when I'm sad about something, unfortunately). And of course, I'm worried that it's going to take me forever to start cycling again. Also, stupid, I know, but I can't help it. Sigh.
sorry to be so whiny about such miniscule things, but that's where I'm at right now.
Emotionally I'm doing alright. despite the fact that I feel okay most of the time, I have a really hard time telling anyone who doesn't know already. And I also am feeling really crappy in general because I totally still look like I'm pg (I have an abdominal muscle separation from Ant and Timmy, so I pop really early) - I have never had a small waist, but it already had gone from 29.5 to 32 inches... and so now none of my clothes fit and I just feel gross. It's very different when you can rationalize it because you have a baby in there versus just looking fat. And I know that probably no-one notices but me (although I few coworkers I told about my loss told me they were beginning to wonder, so it's really not just me but I try and make myself feel better by telling myself that it is). And on top of that my skin is being really crappy now, so in general I'm just feeling really really unattractive, again not that anyone really cares, but it's just one more thing to add to the pile of crap, you know? It sucks. Also because not only had I already gained a couple of pounds while pg, but a few more since that (I am not one to quit eating when I'm sad about something, unfortunately). And of course, I'm worried that it's going to take me forever to start cycling again. Also, stupid, I know, but I can't help it. Sigh.
sorry to be so whiny about such miniscule things, but that's where I'm at right now.
Monday, June 21, 2010
D&C part deux.
Today was harder for me that last week. I went to the L&D floor in the hospital (which is where I spent yesterday afternoon) instead of the day surgery unit. Fortunately I didn't see anyone in labor, but still, being there was just a little bitter.
It was a little more private and quiet, which was nice. Last week we got to listen to a teenage boy and his anesthesiologist arguing about which form of anesthesia was best.
My right arm is still bruised from last week's IV, so I asked the nurse to put it into my left. She did not do a great job, it was probably the most painful needle stick I've ever had (and I have had a LOT, as has anyone who's gone through IF treatments). And I have *huge* veins, seriously 1/4 inch in diameter if not slightly more. So really, how tough can it be? Anyway, the pain, although it really wasn't that bad, just got to me. I found myself thinking, "I really do not want to be here again". And I just couldn't stop myself from crying. At first it was just a few tears slipping out, and I asked the nurse if she could go and get DH, by the time he came in I was full out bawling. And of course that was right when the nurses were switching over so both of them were in the room too. Very sympathetic, but sometimes you just want to cry in private.
I managed to pull myself together eventually, and then the parade of doctors started. I met interns, more nurses, residents, the anesthesia resident and attending, the OB attending and fellow - Mark was calling it the DisneyWorld approach, where every few minutes they have someone else come in to break the tedium and make you feel like you're getting somewhere, just like the videos and things to look at when you're in line in DW. I thought it was quite an apt comparison!
We did make sure to ask what they were going to do to make absolutely sure they would get everything. They were all quite apologetic that it didn't work the first time, and said they'd be using ultrasound to guide them. Mark did ask about a hysteroscopy as that was what finally got everything cleared out for a friend who also had multiple D&C's, but they said there was too much tissue and would be bleeding so an internal camera wouldn't actually be that helpful. Made sense.
They let me walk back to the OR, although I couldn't get up onto the table until the brought over a stool, it was so high! At that point they started the IV meds, and once again, next thing I knew I was coming back into the room to meet M. Once again, none of the OBs who actually did the procedure stopped by to see me (that annoyed me last time too and I will definitely be speaking to MY OB about it when I see her next), but she did at least stop by and see Mark. She told him they were cleaning me up, and that my uterus was much more upright than normal, which made for quite a difficult procedure, and explained why they didn't get everything the last time. I suppose some explanation is better than none.
I really really really do not want to do this a third time, so I hope that they really did get everything.
It was a little more private and quiet, which was nice. Last week we got to listen to a teenage boy and his anesthesiologist arguing about which form of anesthesia was best.
My right arm is still bruised from last week's IV, so I asked the nurse to put it into my left. She did not do a great job, it was probably the most painful needle stick I've ever had (and I have had a LOT, as has anyone who's gone through IF treatments). And I have *huge* veins, seriously 1/4 inch in diameter if not slightly more. So really, how tough can it be? Anyway, the pain, although it really wasn't that bad, just got to me. I found myself thinking, "I really do not want to be here again". And I just couldn't stop myself from crying. At first it was just a few tears slipping out, and I asked the nurse if she could go and get DH, by the time he came in I was full out bawling. And of course that was right when the nurses were switching over so both of them were in the room too. Very sympathetic, but sometimes you just want to cry in private.
I managed to pull myself together eventually, and then the parade of doctors started. I met interns, more nurses, residents, the anesthesia resident and attending, the OB attending and fellow - Mark was calling it the DisneyWorld approach, where every few minutes they have someone else come in to break the tedium and make you feel like you're getting somewhere, just like the videos and things to look at when you're in line in DW. I thought it was quite an apt comparison!
We did make sure to ask what they were going to do to make absolutely sure they would get everything. They were all quite apologetic that it didn't work the first time, and said they'd be using ultrasound to guide them. Mark did ask about a hysteroscopy as that was what finally got everything cleared out for a friend who also had multiple D&C's, but they said there was too much tissue and would be bleeding so an internal camera wouldn't actually be that helpful. Made sense.
They let me walk back to the OR, although I couldn't get up onto the table until the brought over a stool, it was so high! At that point they started the IV meds, and once again, next thing I knew I was coming back into the room to meet M. Once again, none of the OBs who actually did the procedure stopped by to see me (that annoyed me last time too and I will definitely be speaking to MY OB about it when I see her next), but she did at least stop by and see Mark. She told him they were cleaning me up, and that my uterus was much more upright than normal, which made for quite a difficult procedure, and explained why they didn't get everything the last time. I suppose some explanation is better than none.
I really really really do not want to do this a third time, so I hope that they really did get everything.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Nico = 0, Doctors = 14,500.
My beta today was 14,500. So much for my pretty little graph.
I was lucky in that I hardly had to wait at all for the ultrasound, they had told me it could be as long as a couple of hours. It felt weird to be wheeled down to u/s on a gurney when I'm perfectly capable of walking, but whatever.
The u/s tech started by looking at my kidneys, then bladder, then went to my uterus. I could see a little bit of what was going on on the screen, and it totally looked to me like there was still something in there. I asked, and she agreed (even though I guess they're not supposed to give you "results".) She then went to the vaginal u/s, but had the screen so I couldn't see anything. I guess probably because it might be somewhat disturbing. We chatted quite a bit about all kinds of things, and in the course of that, she mentioned that it basically looked like they D&C had done absolutely nothing. Lovely.
She went out after that to talk to the doc or one of her colleagues, and I sat up and took a peek at the screen. The first few pictures looked like a perfectly formed fetus to me, all curled up in 'fetal' position and everything. And yes, it was disturbing. Of course I couldn't resist taking another look just to make myself feel worse, and then realized, duh, that it was actually the kidney pictures I was looking at. They really did look remarkably like an embryo! The vaginal u/s pictures were actually on pages 2/3 of the pics, and I didn't want to get into trouble for scrolling to those. So I just satisfied myself with her interpretation.
went back to L&D after that to talk about what next. They scheduled me for another D&C and gave me a prescription for misoprostol as well because I wasn't sure if I wanted to give that a shot, since obviously the D&C didn't work. After talking to a few people on my ride home, including a friend who had both a natural m/c after one pg, tried the misprostol which didn't work and ended up with a D&C after another, and recalling JV's comments about her natural m/c, I did decide to try the D&C again. I will make sure not to leave the hospital until they have shown me an ultrasound picture of my uterus with nothing in it! I know that's not a guarantee, but it will certainly be better than the last attempt.
Maybe that's why I felt absolutely no side effects from that!
I was lucky in that I hardly had to wait at all for the ultrasound, they had told me it could be as long as a couple of hours. It felt weird to be wheeled down to u/s on a gurney when I'm perfectly capable of walking, but whatever.
The u/s tech started by looking at my kidneys, then bladder, then went to my uterus. I could see a little bit of what was going on on the screen, and it totally looked to me like there was still something in there. I asked, and she agreed (even though I guess they're not supposed to give you "results".) She then went to the vaginal u/s, but had the screen so I couldn't see anything. I guess probably because it might be somewhat disturbing. We chatted quite a bit about all kinds of things, and in the course of that, she mentioned that it basically looked like they D&C had done absolutely nothing. Lovely.
She went out after that to talk to the doc or one of her colleagues, and I sat up and took a peek at the screen. The first few pictures looked like a perfectly formed fetus to me, all curled up in 'fetal' position and everything. And yes, it was disturbing. Of course I couldn't resist taking another look just to make myself feel worse, and then realized, duh, that it was actually the kidney pictures I was looking at. They really did look remarkably like an embryo! The vaginal u/s pictures were actually on pages 2/3 of the pics, and I didn't want to get into trouble for scrolling to those. So I just satisfied myself with her interpretation.
went back to L&D after that to talk about what next. They scheduled me for another D&C and gave me a prescription for misoprostol as well because I wasn't sure if I wanted to give that a shot, since obviously the D&C didn't work. After talking to a few people on my ride home, including a friend who had both a natural m/c after one pg, tried the misprostol which didn't work and ended up with a D&C after another, and recalling JV's comments about her natural m/c, I did decide to try the D&C again. I will make sure not to leave the hospital until they have shown me an ultrasound picture of my uterus with nothing in it! I know that's not a guarantee, but it will certainly be better than the last attempt.
Maybe that's why I felt absolutely no side effects from that!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
In which I know more than the doctors?
Spoke to the on-call OB doc this morning. He said that my beta was 19,000, which he was saying was really high compared with my previous numbers of ~300 and ~600. So they want me to come in for an u/s before Monday. I reminded him that, um, the 300 and 600 were for my previous pregnancies, at 14 and 15dpo repectively, so not really a good baseline to use. dumbass.
Anyway, because they didn't take a beta at all this pg, and he seems to think 19K is high (although Dr. Google says the range for 9-12 weeks is 25,500 to 288,000 so 19,000 doesn't seem so high to me for only 4 days past D&C. I've seen estimates from 12-36 hours for the half-life of hcg), and he said that it is quite unusual not to get any 'products' from a D&C at this stage, he seemed to fall quite firmly in the 'they did not get everything' camp.
I dunno. I just found an article that looked at hcg levels post misoprostol/mifepristone termination, with a nice pretty graph and it seems to me my numbers are right in line with the average there. I wouldn't think there would be a big difference in hcg decline post medical vs. surgical termination.
Anyhoo, more b/w and an u/s tomorrow. I think I should be happy that they're being proactive, but it seems a bit like premature proactivity to me. Guess we'll find out.
Anyway, because they didn't take a beta at all this pg, and he seems to think 19K is high (although Dr. Google says the range for 9-12 weeks is 25,500 to 288,000 so 19,000 doesn't seem so high to me for only 4 days past D&C. I've seen estimates from 12-36 hours for the half-life of hcg), and he said that it is quite unusual not to get any 'products' from a D&C at this stage, he seemed to fall quite firmly in the 'they did not get everything' camp.
I dunno. I just found an article that looked at hcg levels post misoprostol/mifepristone termination, with a nice pretty graph and it seems to me my numbers are right in line with the average there. I wouldn't think there would be a big difference in hcg decline post medical vs. surgical termination.
Anyhoo, more b/w and an u/s tomorrow. I think I should be happy that they're being proactive, but it seems a bit like premature proactivity to me. Guess we'll find out.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Aftermath
I really was doing okay most of this week. Physically I still felt absolutely fine (although mildly nauseous Wednesday night and I went to bed at 8pm which never happens). Emotionally I did feel a bit numb, except when I told a friend at work whom I had told about the pg the week before. I was bawling in her office. Which in a way made me feel better as I hadn't cried at all since leaving the doctor's office on Friday. It's fairly easy to tell people via the sterile medium of the internet, but actually saying it out loud was hard. Really hard.
Then my doctor's office called today to say that the pathology report had come back, and they were unable to identify any "products of conception". The docs had spoken to the OB who did the D&C and she was surprised as she was sure they had gotten everything. And they're not overly concerned about retained 'products' as I'm feeling totally normal. But, they wanted me to come in for a beta, and probably a few more over the next few weeks, to make sure that it is decreasing appropriately.
Honestly, I have almost found this news harder to take than even the initial shock of seeing that Schweffel had no heartbeat. I know so many people who have had miscarriages, from chemicals to well into the second trimester that it was not a shock to me. I wasn't expecting the baby to be dead, but I wasn't NOT expecting it either. So yeah, it sucked, but in a way I had prepared myself for it. This, though, hadn't even crossed my mind. No genetic testing, no finding out the baby's gender (did my following the chinese calendar for the girl I would love to have work?), no nothing.
I had imagined myself getting a sense of closure from the results. Now I have no evidence whatsoever that there was a baby inside me. Two positive pregnancy tests which I threw out because they were getting nasty looking (I did at least take a picture), and one ultrasound that I didn't even get a picture from. I DID see a baby there, I DID. But there's nothing left, not even a few chromosomes. Oh yeah and I have a lovely beer gut too. I had convinced myself that it was getting smaller but really that was just wishful thinking.
I'm trying really hard to avoid thinking about worst case scenarios (and based on things some of my friends have gone through like two rounds of misoprostol followed by three D&C's, I can come up with some doozies.) It's hard to be optimistic though. I guess that's what this news has taken away from me. I was lucky enough to get pregnant on our first cycle trying this time. So I was imagining that I would be pregnant again in the near enough future. Now I can't even think about that because I feel like there are too many hurdles to overcome. I know I'm being a little melodramatic but I really do feel like I've been punched in the gut after just having had surgery.
Then my doctor's office called today to say that the pathology report had come back, and they were unable to identify any "products of conception". The docs had spoken to the OB who did the D&C and she was surprised as she was sure they had gotten everything. And they're not overly concerned about retained 'products' as I'm feeling totally normal. But, they wanted me to come in for a beta, and probably a few more over the next few weeks, to make sure that it is decreasing appropriately.
Honestly, I have almost found this news harder to take than even the initial shock of seeing that Schweffel had no heartbeat. I know so many people who have had miscarriages, from chemicals to well into the second trimester that it was not a shock to me. I wasn't expecting the baby to be dead, but I wasn't NOT expecting it either. So yeah, it sucked, but in a way I had prepared myself for it. This, though, hadn't even crossed my mind. No genetic testing, no finding out the baby's gender (did my following the chinese calendar for the girl I would love to have work?), no nothing.
I had imagined myself getting a sense of closure from the results. Now I have no evidence whatsoever that there was a baby inside me. Two positive pregnancy tests which I threw out because they were getting nasty looking (I did at least take a picture), and one ultrasound that I didn't even get a picture from. I DID see a baby there, I DID. But there's nothing left, not even a few chromosomes. Oh yeah and I have a lovely beer gut too. I had convinced myself that it was getting smaller but really that was just wishful thinking.
I'm trying really hard to avoid thinking about worst case scenarios (and based on things some of my friends have gone through like two rounds of misoprostol followed by three D&C's, I can come up with some doozies.) It's hard to be optimistic though. I guess that's what this news has taken away from me. I was lucky enough to get pregnant on our first cycle trying this time. So I was imagining that I would be pregnant again in the near enough future. Now I can't even think about that because I feel like there are too many hurdles to overcome. I know I'm being a little melodramatic but I really do feel like I've been punched in the gut after just having had surgery.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Surreality
D&C is done. And I feel the same as I did before. No cramping, no pain, really nothing to tell my mind that it's over. There is a little blood, I suppose that's something, but I still just can't wrap my mind around it. I haven't even really cried about it today.
I was planning on writing one of my usual rundowns of exactly what happened, but there really isn't much to tell. They stuck an IV in me in pre-op (we were amazed how many people were there at 6 in the morning!), asked me a bunch of questions about allergies, previous medical history, etc., discussed the anesthesia plans with me (MAC - monitor and something I forget now), and then wheeled me into the OR. We were talking about playing ice hockey and skating, and that's the last thing I remember until I woke up as they were wheeling me into recovery. I just felt like I'd had a nice nap. And that was it. I had to drink something, pee, and then could go home.
I made DH stop at TJ's on the way home to get some cinnamon buns for lunch.
I was planning on writing one of my usual rundowns of exactly what happened, but there really isn't much to tell. They stuck an IV in me in pre-op (we were amazed how many people were there at 6 in the morning!), asked me a bunch of questions about allergies, previous medical history, etc., discussed the anesthesia plans with me (MAC - monitor and something I forget now), and then wheeled me into the OR. We were talking about playing ice hockey and skating, and that's the last thing I remember until I woke up as they were wheeling me into recovery. I just felt like I'd had a nice nap. And that was it. I had to drink something, pee, and then could go home.
I made DH stop at TJ's on the way home to get some cinnamon buns for lunch.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
More details on Schweffel's demise.
When I went into the ultrasound room the tech first looked at my uterus, and I saw flashes of something inside there, then checked my ovaries (I was thinking that the pic was so much less clear than when we were going through treatments, but realize now that's because this was an abdominal u/s).
She then moved on to the baby. I didn't notice at the time that there was no movement. What I did see was no heartbeat. She switched on the view where you can see blood flow, and I didn't realize at the time that there was no blood flow in schweffel either. Mine around the uterus was there, but nothing going inside. She did a few measurements of the crown-rump length, and I noticed that the calculation said 8w6d... then said she had to go and get the doctor.
I choked up a little and said, "I didn't see a heartbeat, did you?". She responded, "No, I'm sorry". Handed me a box of tissues, and said I should wait there a few minutes while she got the doctor. I started to text DH but then thought, what am I thinking, and just called him. It was so hard to tell him, definite waterworks. He asked if he should come in, I said I didn't know, and he said he was on his way. Such a sweetheart.
The doc came in and mentioned that I had asked the u/s tech about the h/b. I told him this was my third pregnancy so I knew what I was looking for. Poor guy, he tried so hard to be diplomatic in asking me what happened in the other two pg. He was really sensitive about it, I have heard stories from my friends about much more callous doctors and nurses, but they were both great. as can be in that situation I suppose. He did confirm no heartbeat, and that the dating was not too far off where I was supposed to be, so Schweffel probably died within the last week or so.
Which is interesting because I finally started feeling queasy through most of the day middle of last week, but that disappeared again earlier this week. Timing was probably not coincidental.
I met with my doc after that, and she talked to me about the options - waiting for a natural miscarriage, taking drugs to induce one, or a D&C. I told her I was pretty sure I was leaning towards a D&C, we were in the midst of talking about that when DH arrived. I asked if we could have a few minutes, she very quickly got up and said, "Of course!".
I needed that hug.
We talked about the options for a few minutes, then told the doc we were ready to talk to her again. She went through the D&C procedure, that we'd been scheduled for 8am Monday morning which means we have to be there at 6, and then I had to sign some consent forms, including one for either taking charge of the remains for a funeral (or I guess whatever else we wanted to do) or having the hospital dispose of them. Mark said no funeral, so we signed for hospital disposal. I think all the options stink actually. Even with a natural miscarriage, I guess the baby would just be flushed down the toilet which doesn't seem like a great ending either. I may change my mind on this I'm not sure yet.
I guess that's about it for now. I've been doing a bit of research on what to expect with the D&C. I did have one after Timmy was born because I was continuing to bleed and they wanted to make sure there wasn't any retained placenta, so I know the basics, although that was different because I was awake with a spinal block, whereas this time they're going to use IV meds for anesthesia and I think I won't remember it? I do remember thinking during that procedure how nasty it was to hear the vacuum and how awful it would be to hear that and know they were vacuuming your baby out. I guess they do it a bit differently, or I'm about to find out.
She then moved on to the baby. I didn't notice at the time that there was no movement. What I did see was no heartbeat. She switched on the view where you can see blood flow, and I didn't realize at the time that there was no blood flow in schweffel either. Mine around the uterus was there, but nothing going inside. She did a few measurements of the crown-rump length, and I noticed that the calculation said 8w6d... then said she had to go and get the doctor.
I choked up a little and said, "I didn't see a heartbeat, did you?". She responded, "No, I'm sorry". Handed me a box of tissues, and said I should wait there a few minutes while she got the doctor. I started to text DH but then thought, what am I thinking, and just called him. It was so hard to tell him, definite waterworks. He asked if he should come in, I said I didn't know, and he said he was on his way. Such a sweetheart.
The doc came in and mentioned that I had asked the u/s tech about the h/b. I told him this was my third pregnancy so I knew what I was looking for. Poor guy, he tried so hard to be diplomatic in asking me what happened in the other two pg. He was really sensitive about it, I have heard stories from my friends about much more callous doctors and nurses, but they were both great. as can be in that situation I suppose. He did confirm no heartbeat, and that the dating was not too far off where I was supposed to be, so Schweffel probably died within the last week or so.
Which is interesting because I finally started feeling queasy through most of the day middle of last week, but that disappeared again earlier this week. Timing was probably not coincidental.
I met with my doc after that, and she talked to me about the options - waiting for a natural miscarriage, taking drugs to induce one, or a D&C. I told her I was pretty sure I was leaning towards a D&C, we were in the midst of talking about that when DH arrived. I asked if we could have a few minutes, she very quickly got up and said, "Of course!".
I needed that hug.
We talked about the options for a few minutes, then told the doc we were ready to talk to her again. She went through the D&C procedure, that we'd been scheduled for 8am Monday morning which means we have to be there at 6, and then I had to sign some consent forms, including one for either taking charge of the remains for a funeral (or I guess whatever else we wanted to do) or having the hospital dispose of them. Mark said no funeral, so we signed for hospital disposal. I think all the options stink actually. Even with a natural miscarriage, I guess the baby would just be flushed down the toilet which doesn't seem like a great ending either. I may change my mind on this I'm not sure yet.
I guess that's about it for now. I've been doing a bit of research on what to expect with the D&C. I did have one after Timmy was born because I was continuing to bleed and they wanted to make sure there wasn't any retained placenta, so I know the basics, although that was different because I was awake with a spinal block, whereas this time they're going to use IV meds for anesthesia and I think I won't remember it? I do remember thinking during that procedure how nasty it was to hear the vacuum and how awful it would be to hear that and know they were vacuuming your baby out. I guess they do it a bit differently, or I'm about to find out.
Friday, June 11, 2010
C'est fini.
I had my first OB appointment today. It was originally scheduled for 6w6d, but when I found out they wouldn't be doing an u/s I rescheduled for today, 9w3d, when hopefully I'd be able to hear the h/b with the doppler.
Only they couldn't find it. And then they did an u/s and there was no h/b there either.
So now I'm scheduled for a D&C on Monday.
Schweffel was measuring 8w6d, so it seems like it happened recently.
And now, I'm sitting here typing this and eating raw salami. I don't know what it says about me that that's the first 'forbidden' thing I'm doing. Not wine, but salami.
Only they couldn't find it. And then they did an u/s and there was no h/b there either.
So now I'm scheduled for a D&C on Monday.
Schweffel was measuring 8w6d, so it seems like it happened recently.
And now, I'm sitting here typing this and eating raw salami. I don't know what it says about me that that's the first 'forbidden' thing I'm doing. Not wine, but salami.
Monday, May 03, 2010
LP news
Um, so yeah. Apparently a 10-day LP IS enough to support a pregnancy. I got a + test yesterday at 12dpo :D
CB still hadn't arrived by the afternoon of 11dpo which is when I was expecting her. And then it got to be night, and still nothing. The following morning, my temp was still up, no sign of anything remotely red, and I had to pee like a horse, so I pulled out a test.
OF COURSE I couldn't get the stupid test open, there was no notch anywhere, I tried my teeth on one end, then the other, fingers a few more times and finally almost peeing my pants got it open using my teeth in the middle.
Relief! Watched the test as the urine went up the window, and could see something there right away. Shock! It was a definite second line, albeit quite faint. So. There we have it. Crossing fingers that all goes well from here.
CB still hadn't arrived by the afternoon of 11dpo which is when I was expecting her. And then it got to be night, and still nothing. The following morning, my temp was still up, no sign of anything remotely red, and I had to pee like a horse, so I pulled out a test.
OF COURSE I couldn't get the stupid test open, there was no notch anywhere, I tried my teeth on one end, then the other, fingers a few more times and finally almost peeing my pants got it open using my teeth in the middle.
Relief! Watched the test as the urine went up the window, and could see something there right away. Shock! It was a definite second line, albeit quite faint. So. There we have it. Crossing fingers that all goes well from here.
Friday, April 23, 2010
More and more cycles.
I decided back after my last cycles post that it really didn't make sense for us to be ttc just then; we're building a new house, and being pregnant while doing that didn't make a whole lot of sense (which turned out to be a good thing because had it happened relatively quickly, the house has NOT, and would have made things, um, interesting).
In the meantime, I've been tracking my cycles. It's interesting to me, while they generally tend to be around the normal 27-28 days, I O a few days late and then have a short LP. Here's the list so far:
Cycle # CD of O LP length
1 37 6
2 22 6
3 23 7
4 21 9
5 21 9
6 15 9
7 20 10
8 17 10
9 18 10?
(The last is a ? because it hasn't happened yet. And maybe it won't...)
It's nice that my LP has been getting marginally longer each month, usually about 6-12 hours per month. And yes, I have been somewhat obsessive about all this tracking!
In the meantime, I've been tracking my cycles. It's interesting to me, while they generally tend to be around the normal 27-28 days, I O a few days late and then have a short LP. Here's the list so far:
Cycle # CD of O LP length
1 37 6
2 22 6
3 23 7
4 21 9
5 21 9
6 15 9
7 20 10
8 17 10
9 18 10?
(The last is a ? because it hasn't happened yet. And maybe it won't...)
It's nice that my LP has been getting marginally longer each month, usually about 6-12 hours per month. And yes, I have been somewhat obsessive about all this tracking!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Exercise and Fertility
Very interesting article from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology: Original article is at http://www.ntnu.no/news/hard-workouts-reduced-fertility, I copied the text below as I don't know how long the article will be up for.
Hard workouts -- reduced fertility
New research from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) shows that the body may not have enough energy to support both hard workouts and getting pregnant.
NTNU Info/Rune Petter Ness
Are you a female athlete – or just someone who likes challenging workouts -- who also wants to get pregnant? It may make sense to ease off a bit as you try, according to new research from NTNU.
Roughly seven per cent of all Norwegian women are believed to have infertility problems, which means that they are unable to become pregnant during the first year of trying - even if they might later become pregnant.
Infertility can have many causes, both medical and lifestyle-related. Known risk factors include smoking, stress, and alcohol. Being extremely under- or overweight can also play a role.
It is known, however, that elite sports women have more fertility problems than other women. But does extreme physical activity play a role in fertility among other women as well? NTNU researchers examined precisely this question in a study involving nearly 3,000 women. They found that overly frequent and hard physical exercise appears to reduce a young woman's fertility. But the decrease in fertility probably lasts only as long as the hard training.
Two vulnerable groups
The study was based on material from the Health Survey of Nord-Trøndelag from 1984-1986 and from a follow-up survey in 1995-1997. All of the women who participated were healthy and of childbearing age, and none had a history of fertility problems.
In the first survey, women responded to questions about the frequency, duration and intensity of their physical activity - and ten years later were asked questions about pregnancy and childbirth. The NTNU researchers also recorded other information that could have significance for the study.
“Among all these women, we found two groups who experienced an increased risk of infertility,” says Sigridur Lara Gudmundsdottir, a PhD candidate in NTNU's Human Movement Science Programme. “There were those who trained almost every day. And there were those who trained until they were completely exhausted. Those who did both had the highest risk of infertility.”
Age an important factor
If the women also were under 30 years old in the first study, the relationship became even more evident in both groups. Among those who reported training to exhaustion (regardless of frequency and duration), 24 per cent had fertility problems. In the group that had trained almost every day (regardless of the intensity and duration), 11 per cent reported the same.
Even when the data were adjusted for other possible contributing factors (such as body mass index, smoking, age, marital status and previous pregnancies), the researchers found that women who trained every day had a 3.5 times greater risk of impaired fertility as women who did not train at all.
“And when we compared those who trained to exhaustion to those who trained more moderately, we found that the first group had a three-fold greater risk of impaired fertility,” says Gudmundsdottir.
In women who reported moderate or low activity levels, researchers found no evidence of impaired fertility.
A transient effect
But the negative effects of hard training do not appear to be permanent, the researcher says.
“The vast majority of women in the study had children in the end. And those who trained the hardest in the middle of the 1980s were actually among those who had the most children in the 1990s,” she adds.
There may be various explanations for why the women who first were least fertile ended up with the most children. “We do not know if they changed their activity level during the period between the two surveys. Or if they just had trouble getting pregnant the first time, but afterwards had a hormonal profile that made it easier to get pregnant again,” Gudmundsdottir said.
Too demanding?
Scientists have a theory that high levels of physical activity are so energy intensive that the body actually experiences short periods of energy deficiency, where there simply is not enough energy to maintain all the necessary hormonal mechanisms that enable fertilization.
On the other hand, previous research shows that moderate physical activity gives women better insulin function and an improved hormonal profile - and thus better conditions for fertility - than total inactivity, particularly in overweight people.
Forget the easy chair
But Gudmundsdottir says that women who want to become pregnant shouldn’t give up all physical activity.
“We believe it is likely that physical activity at a very high or very low level has a negative effect on fertility, while moderate activity is beneficial,” she says.
But as far as identifying how much is “just right”, the researcher is careful. “An individual’s energy metabolism is a very important factor in this context. The threshold can be very individual,” Gudmundsdottir says.
She also recommends that physically active women be particularly aware of their menstrual cycles. “A long cycle or no menstruation at all is danger signals,” she says.
Hard workouts -- reduced fertility
New research from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) shows that the body may not have enough energy to support both hard workouts and getting pregnant.
NTNU Info/Rune Petter Ness
Are you a female athlete – or just someone who likes challenging workouts -- who also wants to get pregnant? It may make sense to ease off a bit as you try, according to new research from NTNU.
Roughly seven per cent of all Norwegian women are believed to have infertility problems, which means that they are unable to become pregnant during the first year of trying - even if they might later become pregnant.
Infertility can have many causes, both medical and lifestyle-related. Known risk factors include smoking, stress, and alcohol. Being extremely under- or overweight can also play a role.
It is known, however, that elite sports women have more fertility problems than other women. But does extreme physical activity play a role in fertility among other women as well? NTNU researchers examined precisely this question in a study involving nearly 3,000 women. They found that overly frequent and hard physical exercise appears to reduce a young woman's fertility. But the decrease in fertility probably lasts only as long as the hard training.
Two vulnerable groups
The study was based on material from the Health Survey of Nord-Trøndelag from 1984-1986 and from a follow-up survey in 1995-1997. All of the women who participated were healthy and of childbearing age, and none had a history of fertility problems.
In the first survey, women responded to questions about the frequency, duration and intensity of their physical activity - and ten years later were asked questions about pregnancy and childbirth. The NTNU researchers also recorded other information that could have significance for the study.
“Among all these women, we found two groups who experienced an increased risk of infertility,” says Sigridur Lara Gudmundsdottir, a PhD candidate in NTNU's Human Movement Science Programme. “There were those who trained almost every day. And there were those who trained until they were completely exhausted. Those who did both had the highest risk of infertility.”
Age an important factor
If the women also were under 30 years old in the first study, the relationship became even more evident in both groups. Among those who reported training to exhaustion (regardless of frequency and duration), 24 per cent had fertility problems. In the group that had trained almost every day (regardless of the intensity and duration), 11 per cent reported the same.
Even when the data were adjusted for other possible contributing factors (such as body mass index, smoking, age, marital status and previous pregnancies), the researchers found that women who trained every day had a 3.5 times greater risk of impaired fertility as women who did not train at all.
“And when we compared those who trained to exhaustion to those who trained more moderately, we found that the first group had a three-fold greater risk of impaired fertility,” says Gudmundsdottir.
In women who reported moderate or low activity levels, researchers found no evidence of impaired fertility.
A transient effect
But the negative effects of hard training do not appear to be permanent, the researcher says.
“The vast majority of women in the study had children in the end. And those who trained the hardest in the middle of the 1980s were actually among those who had the most children in the 1990s,” she adds.
There may be various explanations for why the women who first were least fertile ended up with the most children. “We do not know if they changed their activity level during the period between the two surveys. Or if they just had trouble getting pregnant the first time, but afterwards had a hormonal profile that made it easier to get pregnant again,” Gudmundsdottir said.
Too demanding?
Scientists have a theory that high levels of physical activity are so energy intensive that the body actually experiences short periods of energy deficiency, where there simply is not enough energy to maintain all the necessary hormonal mechanisms that enable fertilization.
On the other hand, previous research shows that moderate physical activity gives women better insulin function and an improved hormonal profile - and thus better conditions for fertility - than total inactivity, particularly in overweight people.
Forget the easy chair
But Gudmundsdottir says that women who want to become pregnant shouldn’t give up all physical activity.
“We believe it is likely that physical activity at a very high or very low level has a negative effect on fertility, while moderate activity is beneficial,” she says.
But as far as identifying how much is “just right”, the researcher is careful. “An individual’s energy metabolism is a very important factor in this context. The threshold can be very individual,” Gudmundsdottir says.
She also recommends that physically active women be particularly aware of their menstrual cycles. “A long cycle or no menstruation at all is danger signals,” she says.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Cycles
I've been cycling reasonably regularly since that first post-Timmy O, if it's possible to say that after three cycles. The next cycle I O'ed on CD44, after *nine* days in a row of EWCM. I did start temping because I had a couple of days of EW at CD17-18, then at about CD23 I wanted to know if I had O'ed yet... and down the slippery slope I went. My temps then were higher than my pre-O temps had been before Timmy, although not quite as high as my post-O, so I had to keep doing it to make sure, right? So I O'ed CD44, and my EWCM dried up that day. Which made me re-evalute my O date from the cycle I mentioned below, I think it was a couple of days later resulting in a four day LP. My CD44 cycle my LP was six days - heading in the right direction!
We've been debating on whether to try and have a third baby for a long time, and after much angst (mostly on my part - I really really would like another baby, but practically it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I decided that I've been practical all my life and this is one choice I really don't want to regret), have decided to go for it. So... the next cycle was the first that we actually 'tried'. I O'ed CD22 (yay!), but still only had a six day LP (boo!). I have to wonder if my body will ever have a normal LP. We're probably not going to find out for a while though, as I'm going to call my RE and get back on progesterone again after I O the next time.
We've been debating on whether to try and have a third baby for a long time, and after much angst (mostly on my part - I really really would like another baby, but practically it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I decided that I've been practical all my life and this is one choice I really don't want to regret), have decided to go for it. So... the next cycle was the first that we actually 'tried'. I O'ed CD22 (yay!), but still only had a six day LP (boo!). I have to wonder if my body will ever have a normal LP. We're probably not going to find out for a while though, as I'm going to call my RE and get back on progesterone again after I O the next time.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Commencement
I don't post here much anymore, but I figure I'll keep updating with HA related stuff, as well as things related to my cycle so I remember them. I do come back to this blog quite frequently when I'm wondering about what happened when, or details about things that are no longer easily accessible to my poor addled brain, it's great to have as a reference.
So... I think I'm about to O again! I'm super excited about it, as I'm still BFing Timmy 2x/day (at 10.5 months old). I also weigh about six pounds less than I did when Timmy was conceived, so I was a little worried that my HA would be back again. (Although I'm not exercising nearly as much now, I'm lucky if it's 3x/week, so I've been hoping that would mitigate the weight loss).
Anyway, I've had a day of EWCM every two weeks since April, which suggested to me that things were slowly revving up. The first time freaked me out a bit as DH and I had been less than careful just a few days before, but it was just a random day (with a BFN a couple of weeks later). So I had it 7/2, 7/16, then every day since 7/24. And in copious amounts, more than I've ever had before! I'm not doing OPKs or temping or anything like that, I figure I'll have a good sense of when I might have O'ed based on drying up, and then I'll find out in somewhere from 5-15 days for sure if the good old CB (crimson bitch aka AF for any new readers) arrives. Fingers crossed!
Update: CB arrived on 8/3. So, I definitely O'ed! I would guess it was Monday night, 7/27, as I had some cramping that night, EWCM the following morning but nothing after that. So that's probably a 6-ish day LP. Not too bad... although I would have thought it would be longer than that based on all the egg-white. eh. now hopefully on to the next cycle!
So... I think I'm about to O again! I'm super excited about it, as I'm still BFing Timmy 2x/day (at 10.5 months old). I also weigh about six pounds less than I did when Timmy was conceived, so I was a little worried that my HA would be back again. (Although I'm not exercising nearly as much now, I'm lucky if it's 3x/week, so I've been hoping that would mitigate the weight loss).
Anyway, I've had a day of EWCM every two weeks since April, which suggested to me that things were slowly revving up. The first time freaked me out a bit as DH and I had been less than careful just a few days before, but it was just a random day (with a BFN a couple of weeks later). So I had it 7/2, 7/16, then every day since 7/24. And in copious amounts, more than I've ever had before! I'm not doing OPKs or temping or anything like that, I figure I'll have a good sense of when I might have O'ed based on drying up, and then I'll find out in somewhere from 5-15 days for sure if the good old CB (crimson bitch aka AF for any new readers) arrives. Fingers crossed!
Update: CB arrived on 8/3. So, I definitely O'ed! I would guess it was Monday night, 7/27, as I had some cramping that night, EWCM the following morning but nothing after that. So that's probably a 6-ish day LP. Not too bad... although I would have thought it would be longer than that based on all the egg-white. eh. now hopefully on to the next cycle!
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