Monday, April 23, 2007

Nursing notes

I used to be in the camp of people saying "once a child can ask to nurse, they're too old". Now that I am a nursing mother myself, I am definitely finding myself re-evaluating that attitude. Partly from reading comments on other blogs (Jenn was discussing nursing at one point, and one of her commenters very astutely asked WHY a child is too old once they can ask for it - a question to which I have no good answer), partly from reading things like the WHO's recommendation that children nurse until at least age two, and partly from my own experience. I was intitally planning on breastfeeding for six months and most likely weaning at that point. But I got to six months and saw no reason to stop, as it was going perfectly well, and how could I deprive my child of the nutrition and benefits of breastmilk for, really, no good reason? (I am NOT judging anyone who stops BFing at any point, for whatever reason. I just didn't feel I had a reason to stop that I felt comfortable with.)

My only dilemma comes from the fact that we'd like to start trying for a second munchkin when Ant is around 14 months old. I am pretty certain that I will not see any hide or hair of the crimson bitch until I stop nursing. My theory is that HA is partly due to a system that is much more sensitive than normal to hormone levels, so the elevation of prolactin and decrease in e2 due to nursing will most likely suppress my system until I stop nursing. (Hopefully NOT thereafter! Pretty please.) But that means that I will need to decide to stop nursing in order to attempt conception. And I'm having a lot harder time with that idea than I ever imagined.

Then again, I've been having much more trouble with my supply in recent weeks than I had before. Well, not my supply necessarily, but more my ability to access my supply. I used to let down equally well for pumping as for nursing, within about 30 sec of starting either. More recently I have had a number of pumping sessions where I have not let down at all, despite feeling relatively full, which means that I only manage to pump 2-3 oz, instead of the 5-6 that I normally get. And on occasion it's taken as long as 4-5 minutes for me to let down when Ant is suckling. I did notice some CM for the very first time since Ant was born, so I wonder if in fact my hormones are shifting a bit. I've tried the looking at your baby's picture, thinking about them method - I'm just so non-sentimental that things like that really don't do it for me. Even his cry doesn't set me off. I've tried shaking the old knockers, stroking and massaging as recommended on kellymom, to no effect. I've even tried sucking myself. Yes that was probably as funny as you imagine. I was desperate though! So now I just get out as much as I can and call it a day. But I do wonder if this is the beginning of a forced end? I'm trying to keep it up by pumping 2x while I'm gone, with him only eating once, and that has been working okay for now, but barely. Any suggestions?

Friday, April 20, 2007

Okay, so it was just a pit stop.

It turns out that even though it hasn't been that long since I 'quit' blogging, I'm missing it already. I've found myself going through my archives on more than one occasion, and I really like reading again about what I was thinking or feeling at any particular moment. So I'm going to pick it up again. I've got lots of things floating around in my head that I'm going to spew for the next few days.

#1: A new neighbor just moved in next door. She's probably in her early forties. And introduced herself to me as "Scooter". I feel really wierd calling a grown woman I barely know Scooter. Is it just me?

#2: I love watching Ant learn new things. He's working on crawling at the moment. He was pushing himself backwards last week, this week he's getting up onto his hands and knees much better (depending on the amount of purchase on the surface he's on). Every day it seems like he's a little closer. I always wondered how they figured these things out.

#3: I always thought (without really thinking about it, if you know what I mean) that milestones were black and white. Can your baby sit by himself or can't he? Can he walk or not? Now I see how grey those milestones really are. Ant could sit unsupported at 6 months. But he would still topple quite frequently. Now he's much more stable, but does still fall over occasionally, although it's much slower and more controlled. Generally. And he certainly can't walk by himself, but at the same time, with one of us holding his hands to balance him, he can motor around at a surprising speed, clearly putting one foot in front of the other of his own accord.

#4: I am falling apart! My left knee has been bugging me for a while, clicking when I get up from kneeling, or when I tried to ride my bike a few weeks ago. I've been seeing a PT, but it's not helping, in fact I think it's gotten worse. I definitely feel more pain when I kneel or squat. Ugh. I need my knees! I've also had repetitive stress injury in my wrists in the past from pipetting and typing. And in the last few days it's gotten really bad, I think from picking up, holding, and balancing Ant. I have some braces to wear, but it's hard to do much of anything with them on. Double ugh. And then there's my diastasis which still isn't 100% healed. Ah, to be a teenager again!

#5: I never knew how much time I would spend on the floor with a kid. The latest is holding him while he walks around - there's the bent over at the waist position, which hurts my back pretty quickly. There's the moving around on my knees, but that hurts even more (see #4). And then there's my patented ass-walk. I sit behind him, with one leg out to each side, and then wiggle my bum from side to side to scooch forward as he takes his steps. Boy, is our floor clean these days. Good thing too, as picking up a mop is something that just does not seem to fit into the schedule.