Nosy bitch.

I've been really ticked off with one of my friends. There's a group of six of us who have known each other since high school and still get together on a regular basis. So one of the 'girls', "Marge" (I still think of us as girls, even though we're all over 30!)emails all of us last year around October, saying that she's thinking about starting a family at some point, and what are the rest of us thinking.

I was pretty honest about what was going on with me - i.e. not having gotten my period for 3 months (at that point), and really hoping that I could, so I could start "trying". I figured, if you can't tell your friends and depend on them for support, why are they your friends? I expressed that sentiment - and it led to one of the other emailees ("Jess") telling us that she had actually been trying for three years, including Clomid, IUI's... with no luck, and no diagnosis. Others emailed that they weren't ready yet, or were waiting for something else to happen first... I thought it was really nice that we could all be so open and honest with each other.

But then I realized that Marge, who had asked the initial question, hadn't told us anything about *her* plans. So I emailed her specifically and asked. She had started it after all, so I thought it was only fair. She responded that 'oh, I think I'll start trying around April'. Or something like that.

A month or two later, Jess announces that she's pregnant! Managed to do it the good old-fashioned way. SO happy for her :-)

But then Marge emails the next day to say that she's pregnant too. I was (and still AM) really hurt, upset, angry with her. Not for getting pregnant on her first fucking month of trying (okay, that ticks me off too), but for being so nosy about other people's business and yet not reciprocating. At all. It probably pisses me off more than it would if it were someone else, 'cause Marge has been nosy all her life... but *still*. I kinda want to say something to her, but at the same time I don't know if it's worth it. Gah.

delusions

Every now and again I notice that my CM is different. So I convince myself that it's because I'm ovulating. Don't tell M because he'll think I'm nuts, but jump him anyway. At least that part is fun. And then I convince myself that it really is possible that I'm pregnant, despite the fact that I feel *none* of the symptoms. I read about people's boobs hurting so they think they might be... I don't even have that. Just a delusional imagination.

My RE wants me to go on the pill while I'm on vacation (South Africa for 3.5 weeks), in preparation for starting injections when I get back and M has seen the urologist. In a way I don't want to, I still have these absurd ideas (yes, delusions) that I'm just magically going to ovulate, M's 1.5 million good sperm will magically find this super egg, and I'll get pregnant while we're away.

I guess I still haven't really accepted the fact that this is a pipe dream. I should just get over it and go on the fucking pill.

But somehow I still hold out hope - I'll wait, take a pg test while we're away, and start the pill two weeks before M's appointment. Then within the week after that I see the RE, get the go-ahead for injections and go off the pill. But at least if I don't go on the pill right now, there is a small chance that we might manage it on our own. You know, the whole "all you need to do is relax" thing. ha.

update

One thing I neglected to mention about my RE appointment last week - I asked her about the pulsatile GnRH, and she basically said that it is old technology; no better than the injections and a lot more difficult to implement. I do have an appointment with one of the endocrinologists at the MGH unit that has published studies on the pulsatile GnRH so I'll see what she says. I don't know if it's one of those things where this doc doesn't use it so isn't willing to consider it, or if it really is old hat now. From that one study it really did sound better though (96% cumulative pregnancy rate after 6 months vs. 82%). I like those odds!

M has his urologist appt on 3/30, a week after we get back from our trip. So hopefully I'll be able to start on the injections for the IUI not too long after that.

I've been sad recently - I so wanted to be pregnant *with* my younger sister. She and I went off the pill at the same time, with plans of sharing our pregnancy. She got tired of waiting for me in January, and started "trying". Pregnant the first time around!!! That turned out to be a chemical pregnancy... but this month, her second try, she's pregnant for real. I'm really excited for her, but a little sad at the same time. I was totally anticipating us bonding over this, and now it's going to be me, on the sidelines... I know this sounds awful, but I'm really glad that it didn't happen last month. Gave me a month to get used to the idea, at least.

So far it's been pretty okay, although I was there last night when she told my mom, that was hard. Especially when Mom's husband says to me "Well, I guess she beat you...". I just don't even know what to say! I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to be hurtful, but that doesn't make it NOT hurt. I guess I'm going to have to get used to crap like that.

(My father passed away ten years ago, when I was 21, and Mom remarried in 2000. So I call him my mother's husband rather than my stepfather, because he really has not been at all like a father to me. I like him just fine - usually. But I cannot call him my stepfather.)

Unfounded optimism

This is going to be a bit of a ramble - I have so many things floating around in my head...

So much for me thinking that all I need to do is ovulate and I'll be popping out babies like a champ. M has sperm issues. 48% motility and 3% on the morphology. So the RE told me that we should go right to IUI. HA. I don't even get to try making a baby in anything close to the 'old fashioned way'. I kinda feel gypped.

On the other hand, though, I think I have it easier than some because I know what's wrong. I know why I'm not getting pregnant. In some ways that's less stressful, I think, than wondering every month if I am or not.

M has to have a few other tests done, I guess to figure out if there's some underlying problem with him or not. One of the tests is an ultrasound of the scrotum. I almost burst out laughing when the RE told me that. The picture I get in my head...

He travels for work, gone Monday through Thursday each week. Which makes scheduling tests kinda tough. Plus we're gone from 2/25 to 3/22, so this is going to push things back even further. I was thinking I'd start meds in the week after we got back, but I couldn't even get him an appointment until the Friday, then he has to see a urologist, THEN we can start thinking about meds. I hate waiting.

One good thing about IUI is that we can freeze his sperm so I don't have to worry about flying to wherever he is for baby-making sessions. But it seems so impersonal and antiseptic and so NOT what I had imagined. It would be so odd to get pregnant without him there. It makes me laugh and cry at the same time.

There I go again, actually thinking that I might get pregnant. What a joke.

Until now I'd always said that I'd stop at IUI - if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. I like our life together. I love my job, I have a bazillion hobbies, friends, family... but I realized yesterday walking back from the RE that it was easy to say that because it actually never crossed my mind that I *wouldn't* be able to get pregnant. Easy to say you won't do IVF when you're not actually faced with the choice. Not so easy when the life you'd imagined for yourself is slowly but surely being flushed down the fucking toilet. I was so naive!

Misc

I wish there were more people in blog-land with my problem. My gyn told me "gain some weight, don't exercise so much, and you'll probably get your period back". My RE completely disagreed, and seems to think we should go ahead with hormone treatments. I'd like to know, if I do gain weight (actually that part's taken care of, I'm back to what I was before I decided to lose anything), how long before I get my period? Right away? Months? Years? It would be nice to know what other people's experience is. I know that there are others, they have to do the clinical studies on someone, right? I just can't find anyone.

Speaking of my RE, going to see her today to discuss next steps. M had his SA on Friday (I felt really bad for him he called me from there and said "Does it matter if I didn't get very much in there?" Apparently the logistics were tough - any suggestions? it's one thing to pee in a cup, but I can see how this might cause problems. tee hee). We've had all the other blood work done, so hopefully we're good to go.

My gyn didn't really seem to know about pulsatile GnRH at all, and wasn't aware that one of the leading clinics for it is right at MGH. So it'll be interesting to hear what the RE's take on it is, whether she knows about it, can do it, thinks it's a pile of crap...

people must stick their noses in...

Hubby's going in for his SA on Friday. Had to call the hospital to register beforehand, and he was quite surprised that they already had him in the system, albeit with his parent's address. So we're over there last night, and he asks if they can think of any reason it might be in there.

His Mom: "Why are you going to MGH?"

M: "For an appointment"

His Dad: "What do you need an appointment for?"

M: "It's just an appointment"

Dad: "But what for?"

M: "For a fucking sperm analysis, alright?"

Dad:

Well, he really didn't have anything else to say. Mom got it... Dad's just a little slower on the uptake. I probably turned redder than any of them did though!

today's appointment

Saw my gyn today. Had scheduled the appointment a while back, to go over test results etc. It was, unfortunatley, a waste of time. I sat in the waiting room for half an hour, sat in the exam room for another 15 minutes (at least I had brought some work with me so it wasn't a complete loss), then she came in to chat.

She told me that my HSG was normal (that *was* nice to hear - at the test, the radiologist had said something like "we should see the dye spilling into your peritoneum", but didn't actually say whether he did or not. I should have asked, but for some silly reason I'm intimidated by doctors. Need to get over that.) Other than that,not much. I did at least ask her for a copy of my blood test results, so I know what all those numbers actually are. (Just about everything is on the low side of normal for the follicular phase). I asked for printouts of my HSG as well, just 'cause it's cool, but she said I'd have to request that from radiology.

On a completely different note, I had lunch today with a friend from when I worked here before (I'm back at the company I worked for before I went to grad school), we talked about her daughter (18mos), and then it turns out she's pregnant again, due in July :-) So she asked whether I wanted kids at any point, so I told her the whole sordid story. Turns out both of her kids were conceived through IVF.

It's amazing how many people have trouble conceiving. Growing up we all think that you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat, but I know so many people (not even including blog world) who have had, or are having trouble. If only we knew then what we know now!

snow sucks... but it keeps me from exercising!

I hate the snow. I am getting repetitive stress injury / carpal tunnel in my left wrist from all the damned shovelling I've had to do. let's see... Had to shovel when I got home last Wednesday night (can't pull into my driveway with *any* snow on it 'cause it's too steep). Thursday morning - more snow overnight. Saturday evening, trying to get a jump on the blizzard (8in). Sunday morning towards the end of the blizzard (somewhere between 0 and 48 inches, depending on drift size). Sunday evening after it had finally stopped snowing. Wednesday morning before leaving for work. Wednesday evening getting home from work. This morning, clearing up the last of it. GGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That's eight time's I've had to shovel the driveway in the past week. Most of them by myself too, 'cause hubby's away for work. Mostly in Charlotte NC which is at least a little warmer than here, although this week he's in Minneapolis...

There is NO place to put the damn stuff anymore.

I suppose the good thing about it is that (aside from the shovelling), it has really kept my exercising down the past week. No hockey over the weekend, no hockey on Tuesday, no game yesterday - it's actually been over a week since I've been out on the ice, which hasn't happened in a *long* time. Probably not since we went to AUS / RSA for 5 weeks in '03. Not playing has not come without its frustrations however...

What REALLY ticked me off? I didn't want to drive in on Weds morning this week, but had to because we had a hockey game in the evening, and I needed to bring my equipment and the team jerseys. I didn't know it was supposed to start snowing in the morning, I was under the impression the snow wasn't going to start until evening. So I woke up late. For snow anyway - 7:30. (*&@#$ shovelling meant that I didn't leave the house until 8:30. Then it took me an hour and a half to get to work. Yes, you read that right. NINETY minutes to go 8 miles. It usually takes 20! FUCK. I practically could have walked there in that time. And then (I'm sure you can see what's coming here) the fucking hockey game was cancelled. Yes. Cancelled. Basically, I completely wasted two hours of my life (the 30 min of shovelling + the 90 min of driving). AND I didn't get to play hockey.

Did I say that I HATE snow???

Waiting

I am not good at waiting. I am not good at dealing with things not going my way. I am a control freak! I have an appointment with my gynecologist on Friday, I think to just go over all the test results etc., then with my RE on 2/8, to talk about next steps.

That was supposed to be next Tues after my test, hubby's blood tests and semen analysis, but he wasn't able to schedule that until 2/4, so I had to postpone. At least he got it scheduled - he does not have baby fever in the same way as I do, so I was really anticipating having to nag and nag to get him to make the appointment. I had asked him to do it over a week ago and he procrastinated (as is his wont). Fortunately I just had to push very very gently. Telling him that it needed to be done before my RE appointment was what did it, I think. The man is hopeless without a deadline!

I also made another appointment (I don't think I've seen this many doctors in all my previous 30 years!) with one of the doctors at the MGH reproductive endocrinology group. They're actually the ones who did the clinical trials to get pulsatile GnRH treatment approved here in the US, so I'm being proactive in case my current RE hasn't heard of it / can't do it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get an appointment there until after we get back from our trip (2/25-3/22). I was really hoping to be able to take the medication while we were away - lots of time / opportunity for baby making.

Hubby is a consultant and travels Monday morning - Thursday night each week, which complicates things even further. He has suggested that if I am on medication to cause ovulation that I could fly to whereever his is for the appropriate timing. Should be able to work that out with my boss, as my work is all done on a computer. Doesn't really matter where the computer I'm using is physically located, which is nice.

happy HSG

Had my HSG yesterday. It wasn't too bad. Took the radiologist ~5 minutes to find my cervix, which was interesting. Two things I found amusing - first, the tech who was helping draped my lower body entirely in towels. So all I was to the radiologist was a vagina. I thought it was a funny way of depersonalizing the procedure...

So they got me all set up, catheter in the right place, balloon blown up, then the radiologist and the tech both left the room and came back in wearing their lead aprons. I couldn't stop laughing for five minutes - the radiologist's apron was in a camoflage pattern!

The test itself was fine, I felt a few minor cramps, but nothing unbearable. Watching on the screen was neat. It looked to me as if the bottom of my spine was crooked - I wonder if that has anything to do with the muscles of my back being so tight. I'll have to ask the chiropractor when I go again on Monday.

I've gotten to see so much of my insides over the past few months. One of the fun side effects!

pulsatile GnRH

More web research... turns out that pulsatile GnRH is actually approved in the US, although it sounds like that happened recently. The leading clinic is actually at MGH, so hopefully my RE will be able to do that, or can refer me to the clinic for that treatment rather than injection of gonadotropins. It sounds like the pulsatile GnRH is the more appropriate treament for HA, with less monitoring required, less chance of multiples.

some more research

Sounds like pulsatile GnRH administration is the way to go...

I was not thrilled about the idea of using fertility treatments to induce ovulation, hoping to start again on my own, but read this "In one small 2002 study, 70% of women with FHA recovered with no therapy at all after an average of eight years."

EIGHT years???

This is by far the best article I've found to date. Most complete explanation of the different underlying causes of HA, as well as treatment. Mentions pulsatile GnRH as the ideal treatment, with 90% ovulation, 30% preganancy / cycle, low rate of multiples... OF COURSE not available in the US. WTF?

interesting article

So I just did a pubmed search for "hypothalamic amenorrhea" AND gonadotropins. Found lots of good stuff. Maybe even a few articles that could butress my case for gonadotropins as a treatment of my underlying cause of infertility, rather than an infertility treatment per se. Talk about splitting hairs.

Anyway, there's also a really good article that talks about HA here. They compare body weight, fat %, other physical characteristics, hormone profiles and eating habits and psychological profiles between women with HA and normal controls.

Some very interesting stats. Women with HA got their periods later (as I did), have a lower fat percentage (I was down to 16.5% although I think I'm back up at ~20 again), lower BMI (I'm definitely going up here - I'm now at 21.7, was at 20.5 a couple of months ago)... have a diet much lower in fat (16% for HA vs. 30% for normal)...

I'm going to try using fitday to track the percentage of my diet that comes from fat versus carbs. I think that is almost certainly something that is true of me, and another thing I can work on changing on my own.

My nutritionist did suggest adding olive oil to pasta sauce when I eat that. I haven't yet because I naturally rebel against adding fat to my diet - BUT MAYBE THAT'S MY PROBLEM!

Oh - another thing this article says that hits home - "Psychological assessments by Berga et al. (7) and Giles et al. (8) indicate that women with FHA are perfectionistic overachievers". Describes me to a T. Continues on to say "with low self-esteem (7) and an inability to cope with daily stresses (7, 8)" which I don't think describes me, but who the hell knows at this point. Would one symptom of being a perfectionist overachiever be the inability to admit to low self esteem and inability to cope? Could be.

my cheapness bites me in the ass...

Back in November when I had to decide which health insurance to go with, mine or hubby's, we decided to go with his - my company actually pays you a small amount ($31/paycheck) if you have health insurance through another avenue, i.e. a spouse. So we end up getting our health insurance for next to nothing, with that reimbursement.

Of course, his company is located in CA, and doesn't cover fertility treatments. Where mine is located in the great state of MA and does. Of course, that doesn't matter at this point, because the only way to change from one to the other is through 'a qualifying change in family status'. I don't think wanting to have a baby counts. Grrrr... If only I'd known!

The only thing covered by his insurance is "Diagnosis and treatment of underlying medical cause of infertility when provided by or under the direction of a Physician."

I'm *hoping* that at least one cycle of the hormones / associated monitoring can be covered under that guise. I really wish there were more info available about hypothalamic amenorrhea. I've found some articles about its association with leptin levels, and treatment by recombinant leptin - of course, that's not an approved treatment so the only way to get it is through some kind of clinical trial. Other than that? Not much. I asked my RE about testing my leptin levels, she said they're probably low but knowing that won't make the treatment any different.

Anti big news :(

So my sister is not pregnant. Anymore. She had three positive home preg tests, a faint line, then a darker line, then a fainter one again. She had the sore bbs, they were definitely getting bigger. So I thought for sure she was. After the third home test, she went to her doc to have a blood test, which was negative. Then she got her period the next day - much heavier than normal. So probably a very early miscarriage. Sad. She called me in tears, unfortunately I didn't have my cell phone turned on so I missed it. When I talked to her later in the day though she seemed to be okay with it. I think she hadn't really started thinking of herself as pregnant yet, because of the lines on the preg test being so faint, and it happened so early. Hopefully it doesn't mean anything about what will happen in the future...

Reproductive endocrinologist

My gynocologist had set up appointments for me with both the nutritionist and a reproductive endocrinologist. I'm at the RE right now, pecking away at my palm pilot...

They did the requisite pregnancy test, checked height and weight (I'm up to 136, which I think is a very reasonable weight for my height of 5'5.5".)

I then spoke with the doc, who looked everything over, and confirmed the diagnosis of hypothalamic amenorrhea. I told her that I am increasing my calories and decreasing exerise - she said that given my past menstrual history (very irregular periods before I went on BC) that those are actually unlikely to help me.

So, it looks like the answer will be to use injectable hormones to cause ovulation. Clomid, which is usually tried before the injectables, won't work in my case, because the problem in my cycle is actually happening before that.

There is a concern about multiples, but we'll try and manage that as best we can by starting off with very low doses.

Next steps - more blood work to check for PCOS (although that is unlikely based on the ultradound she did. I did have a few follicles, but the largest was 9mm, where they usually don't progress until they get to about 12mm.) Also a check for various diseases and genetic anomalies. And an HSG test, which I've heard is a lot of fun (not!)

After that, we'll go in and talk about a plan in terms of starting the injections. We're going away from 2/25 to 3/22, so we'll probably get started after that. Unless I get my period before that... but it sounded as if she realy didn't think that that would happen.

Chiropractor

I visited a very good friend of mine down in Baltimore this past weekend. We were talking about my amenorrhea, and she mentioned that at her chiropractor's office there are a number of testimonials on the wall from women who had been treated there for amenorrhea and gotten their periods. Who knew?

So i did a little research on the internet, and actually found a bunch of articles talking about treatment of amenorrhea through chiropractic care. Apparently, studies have found a connection between problems in the lumbar area (lower back) and amennorhea.
As I had been thinking for a while about going to see a chiropractor for some mild pain in my shoulder blade, I figured 'what the heck'.

So, i found a chiropractor near me, and had my first appointment yesterday. First we talked about my history and what i want to get out of going there. Then she did a bunch of quick tests to check my range of motion and if I was experiencing any pain. Range was excellent, and the only mild discomfort I felt was when she had me cross my arms over my chest, twist to the right, then she applied pressure.

Then she started with the adjustments. The first thing she noticed was that the muscles running down the right hand side of my lower back are totally tense and full of knots. No way to even perform the adjustment without working some of them out.

(ah-ha, i say - connection between low back and amenorrhea!)

So she spent probably 10 or 15 minutes working on that, then did some spinal adjustments - the back cracking part. She was surprised at how much tension was still left after she did that, given that when she adjusted my neck it immediately became much less tense.

Boy did I feel good afterwards. She wants to see me three times a week for a couple of months - I think I'm really going to enjoy this!!!

Nutrition

i know that i need to eat more and better - but it's SO hard! Yesterday morning i was following my nutritionists advice and having toast with peanutbutter and 1% milk. I found myself thinking 'i'll only have 12oz milk instead of 20 so it's not too many calories...'

This is going to be harder than i thought.

baby steps

When my gynecologist suggested that I see a nutrionist, my first reaction was "I eat perfectly well!".

On second thought, I realize that I'm totally kidding myself. I probably eat an average of 12-1300 calories a day of healthy food. Anything more than that is JUNK. A chocolate here, some cake there, throw in a few candies... next thing you know I'm at around 700-800 cal of shit.

As I know I need to eat more / better than that, I figured seeing nutritionist would be a good idea. So I saw one last Thursday. It was SO helpful. She gave me just a few things to work on to add more calories and fat into my diet - the healthy way.

1. I should be getting ~2100 cal / day, 70g fat. It's nice to know the number I should be aiming for, I find it much easier to work towards a target than just to think that I have to eat more.
2. Change milk from skim to 1 or 2%. Why didn't I think of that. Easy!
3. Instead of candy, try some kind of trail mix with nuts - almonds and walnuts are particularly good. Fiber and good oils too.
4. pre ground flaxseed, 1-2 tbsp per day. Maybe mix with oatmeal or something. This one will be a little harder, it's a bigger change.
5. Breakfast - instead of a granola bar, maybe some whole wheat bread (at least 3g dietary fiber / serving) with peanut butter. Fiber and protein - more filling.
6. Add a little bit of olive oil / canola oil into sauces and soups to add a little more fat.

I picked up some smoked almonds and walnuts today and had them for a snack when I got home starving. yum! I'm going to try and eat them a bit earlier in the day though, so I'm not getting the majority of my calories at night.

Another thing I decided to try, on my own, was really working at getting 7.5-8 hours of sleep a night. Last night I didn't quite manage, what with having to get up at 5:30 this morning for hockey, but I came a lot closer than usual. Getting up at 8 tomorrow, so it's off to bed for me now.

Tomorrow: chiropractor?

Introduction / history

I was recently diagnosed with hypothalamic amenorrhea. I've done a bit of research on the web, but what info is out there isn't really what I'm looking for - I want to get pregnant! *Kinda* tough to do when you're not getting your period. I'm not even at the starting line yet!

I finished my PhD in July of '04, and went off the pill then. My PCP had told me that it can often take up to three months after going off the pill to recommence ovulation. Perfect! I could then be in my new job for about a year before going out on maternity leave. Or something like that.

Definitely something like that, as it's now been six months and I haven't gotten my period yet! So as I've had a tough time finding out what people have done to get their period back, how long it takes, what other options are out there, I thought I'd start this blog to pull it all together, and hopefully find other people who are in the same predicament.

The first thing my doc did when I hadn't gone on the rag three months after going off BC was to check my thyroid (blood tests were normal), then give me a Provera challenge. You take progesterone for 5 days, then theoretically get your period 4-10 days after that. Works for most people...

I didn't bleed at all after that. Not a single solitary drop. So then my PCP sent me to a gynecologist. As this was now a couple of months later, she tried the Provera challenge again. Still nothing. She also had blood levels of hormones checked. That was apparently normal, although I don't know the actual numbers as I haven't seen her again yet... have an appointment 1/28, so will find out then, I hope.

Next step - an MRI of my head, looking for a possible pituitary tumor, which can be one cause of amenorrhea. Everything normal there too. So onto the next hormonal challenge - 21 days of estrogen, followed by Provera. That finally worked, got my period last Tuesday. But it's not a real period, basically all that indicates is that my plumbing is okay and I *can* bleed. Doesn't mean my cycles have started for real or anything.

In the meantime, she had called to tell me that I have hypothalamic amenorrhea. Apparently some of my hormone levels are low (which I don't quite understand given that I was initially told they were normal? Maybe they're within the normal range, but on the low side?). I think she said it was the gonadotropins (FSH and LH) that were low, but I can't be entirely sure. She suggested A) seeing a nutritionist, and B) cutting down on my exercise.

About three years ago I decided to start exercising regularly, with two main goals. First, to get rid of the cellulite on my legs. Second, to prepare for a pregnancy in a few years, with the idea that being fit would make the pregnancy, delivery and recovery all easier. That may be... but first I actually have to GET pregnant. And, like I said, that's kinda tough at the moment.

And then in May of last year I decided I wanted to finally get rid of my love handles, and I just felt like I was overall chubby. So I lost ~12 pounds that month, by restricting myself to 1500 calories a day, and a few more in the months after that. I was also exercising quite a lot, although I didn't feel like it was excessive. Lifting weights 2x per week, playing ice hockey 4-5 times / week, volleyball 1-2 times... Got down to somewhere between 16 and 18% bodyfat.

Since then, I've put back most of the weight I lost, I'm currently down ~5 pounds from my starting weight (I was 139, 5'6" when I started, now I'm around 133-134) (still 5'6" though). I'm working on increasing my calories and cutting back on the exercise. I also have some other plans, I'll go into those soon...